I haven’t given much thought to what I’d like for Christmas this year, probably because Husband hasn’t asked me yet. Hmph. So this morning as I was applying concealer to my dark undereye circles I started thinking … what would I like for Christmas?

Here is my grown-up Christmas list:

1. A breast lift. I thought I wanted to wait until after I was done having kids, but after the week I’ve had … I think I’m done.

2. A gift certificate to a bariatric weight loss clinic. No, I’m not above that. In fact, I’d embrace it.

3. Someone to buy our house for the amount we owe on it.

4. To be near my mother and mother-in-law so I could get a break now and then.

5. A break now and then.

6. That vein-zapping treatment for the backs of my legs, which I discovered last night are a virtual road map of blue lines.

7. Cute workout clothes. Because as soon as I finish typing out this list, I’m loading up the kids and making a trip to the YMCA to join. I planned to go yesterday, but we went and got a Christmas tree instead.

Yes … all of the items pretty much have to do with vanity. Even numbers 4 and 5, because if I had a “break now and then,” I would likely use it to shave my legs. I’ll leave the virtuous wishes (world peace) to someone else.