If we lived in a perfect world, there would be an online friend-matching service for busy moms who don’t have time to waste making small talk with people who bother them.
And this would be my ad.
Modern Mommy Madness
If we lived in a perfect world, there would be an online friend-matching service for busy moms who don’t have time to waste making small talk with people who bother them.
And this would be my ad.
Modern Mommy Madness 
“Frequently sarcastic. Aspires to eat ice cream at every meal, every day. Has never cleaned the oven. Thinks pants without elastic waistbands are bullshit.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
LMAO Here’s mine..
Has too many kids.
*Eats Xanax for an afternoon snack*.
Forgets everything.
Polite as F＊ck.
Nice to meet you✌️ I think we’d make great friends! Lol
LikeLike
HAHAHAHA!!!!!
LikeLike
Omg hilarious. I love it! So much.
Mine would be:
Mama of Two (thanks to the reproductive endocrinologist!)
Runner. Eater. Drinker. Loves all in excess.
Can never find my car keys.
Laid-back as fuck (except when I can’t find those keys)
LikeLiked by 1 person
NICE TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE!
LikeLike
ha! your website is gorgeous! nice to meet you, mine would be:
Formerly OCD, then had 3 boys.
Now drinks wine and curses too much.
But loyal as f*ck.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mine isn’t too different!
Mommy of 3.
Overly sarcastic.
Drinks beer for breakfast.
Forgets everything.
Polite as fuck.
🙂
LikeLike
Hi! Pleased to meet you! I’d pass you a glass of my Shiraz, but I drank it for dinner. I hear it’s equivalent to an hour at the gym, so I drank 2. Wanna be my friend?
LikeLike
I love this.
Mom of 2.
Bleeds coffee.
Stays up until all hours just to enjoy the silence.
Occassionally loses the ability to speak to adults,
But very dependable and plans a mean birthday party.
LikeLike
This is hilarious.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mom of one, so not enough kids.
Swiss cheese memory, at times selective
Polite to your face.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this & I would definitely reply to your ad….but then we would both forget what time we were scheduled to meet …..
LikeLike
Mom of 1 and 1/2. Gluten intolerant and chronic procrastinator.
Really just wants a pint of Smithwick’s and a F*kin’ Dragon Roll.
Shares personality traits with Vincent Van Gogh. Help me.
Funny without meaning to be. Loyal to a fault. Won’t you share (admittedly limited) starry nights with me?
LikeLike
I’m sure that if you started that mommy matching site, we would sign up in hordes and then promptly forget our password.
*mom of two, three if you count the biggest one (6’2″ and many years potty trained!)
*loves day drinking and naps.
*survives the day on diet coke and almonds.
*prefers bourbon to the company of most people.
*call me maybe?
LikeLike
you so need to start this service!! This completely frazzled mom of two who loves wine more than her kids most days and would give up a month’s worth of showers for a whole day to myself would love to participate! 🙂
LikeLike
“Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Julie. Two kids, both girls. Lives with high drama. Will do anything to escape it. Also drinks wine for dinner. Probably on my phone too much.”
LikeLike
I am polite as fuck too!
LikeLike