Interviews are not my strong point. At all. Just ask one of the many members of management at my old corporate office where I endured several panel interviews before quitting to stay home with the kids.

Painful.

I have strong interpersonal skills, but when I’m being focused on intently by someone I don’t really know, I go weird. This is why one of my current life goals is to avoid putting myself in a situation where I’d have to go through an interview EVER AGAIN.

Writers and bloggers shouldn’t have to be interviewed, right?

Wrong.

I was very flattered to be asked to participate in a podcast interview recently (details forthcoming). I know very little about the world of podcasts, but I said yes without hesitation because why not, right? Then I proceeded to stress out about it for a week and eat ALL THE THINGS.

Yesterday, the day of the interview, I totally panicked. I paced around the house, checking the clock repeatedly, waiting for it to strike 12:30 so I could dial the number — which I also checked and rechecked repeatedly. I was so nervous and had no idea what to do with myself, so I put on my adult onesie and did jumping jacks. Because that’s normal.

I spent the interview being weird and laughy and trying not to yell “THIS IS TERRIFYING!!!” into the phone. Because, nerves.

If I ever have to return to the workforce, I might wear this to the interview. At least I’d feel warm and cozy.

If I ever end up famous (snort) and someone asks me, “Do you get nervous during interviews?” I’ll totally lie and claim that I never get nervous because I practice daily meditation, eat steamed kale for breakfast, and eschew caffeine.

I will not admit to jumping jacks and camouflaged onesies.

But you’ll know the truth.