Things I don’t care about:

1. The royal wedding.

2. Justin Bieber. I still don’t get him.

3. Politics. 

4. Ryan Seacrest.

5. The Kardashians.

6. That lady who got arrested because she got in a fight over some Girl Scout cookies.

7. Who was wearing what at the Oscars last night.

8. Obscure countries.

9. Scientific facts and discoveries.

Clearly, I need to find a way to tailor the news for my tastes. Every news outlet seems to be overrun with some combination of the above. If you’re going to ask me what I DO care about, it’s pretty much anything besides what I listed above.

Except Regis Philbin’s retirement. Really, anyone’s retirement.