This week was a weird one.

On Thursday, I went to Subway. I was minding my own business. I was happy because there was a new guy working there, and the new ones are always more generous with the toppings. 

The lady in line in front of me took one look at my sandwich and said “you better watch that mayo, it’ll go straight to your hips.”   I smiled and politely informed her that I’m pregnant … and I don’t give a DAMN about my hips.

The next day, I attended a baby shower at work. As I collected my piece of cake and headed out the door, one of my co-workers stopped me in the middle of a large group of women. 

She said to me, “Harmony, you’re going to carry this baby in your BOOTY, aren’t you?”    

So what … had they all been studying my ass to see how much it had expanded? What brought this on? For a split second I felt self-conscious about myself, the cake I was holding in my hand, my pregnant body and most of all, my butt … which I’ve been avoiding looking at in the mirror.

Everyone looked at me expecting an answer, so I said something about how apparently I carry a lot of weight in my backside when I’m pregnant because people can’t seem to stop talking about it. I told a story of how another one of my co-workers loudly exclaimed “OOOOOH HARMONY! Your booty’s getting big!” several years ago when I was pregnant with ONE. Which, I pointed out to them, was extremely rude.

And then, me and my large ass left the party.

Look people. I am a white girl with a big butt. Get OVER it, or go ahead and kiss it.

Husband snuck this shot on my 30th birthday.