Today I am pondering modern motherhood. It’s come to my attention that not many women, especially women who have children, are able to function without some sort of medication. Is it because we live in such a high-stress society? Do we expect too much of ourselves? Or is it simply that us women are inherently crazy, have probably always needed medication, and just didn’t have access to it until recently?
I often think that I was born in the wrong century, and I often long for a simpler life. I’m a hard worker, and I think I would have done well in a time where bread was made from scratch and the cows had to be milked. But, I do enjoy my air-conditioning — and I’m vain to a fault — so maybe I would have just bitched the whole time about my “simple” life instead.
I like to think not, but I’m a realist. And possibly crazy.
Monthly Archives: July 2010
The Foam Pit of Death.
Yesterday one my favorite little people had her 4th birthday party at a gymnastics place. There were springy mats and big things to climb over and it was basically kiddo heaven.
My little boy had SO much fun running around and all was well until (dun dun dun) … the party moved to the ginormous foam pit.
Theoretically, this should have been the most fun part of the day. In fact, I’m pretty sure it was for everyone except for me. I’m one of those people who could never get on and off of a horse gracefully, or a Seadoo for that matter. It seems like in both cases (horse and Seadoo) the thing I was trying to climb on top of would keep moving around and I would just slide right off.
I could never do a cartwheel, I have trouble hopping up onto anything without looking like a struggling beetle. I’m simply not graceful. However, for some reason when I saw my son looking up at me from the foam pit with this worried look on his face, I didn’t think about my clumsiness.
I jumped in to “save” him. Here is what THAT looked like.
And then, of course, I couldn’t get out. The more I struggled, the deeper I sank. It felt a little too quicksand-ish for my comfort.
To make matters worse, there was a gaggle of adults standing around giggling at me. I am still mad at Husband, who stood on the other side of the pit and refused to walk around to my side and help pull me out. The GRANDFATHER of the birthday girl, bless his heart, was the only one who tried to help, but he eventually gave up and left me to my doom.
AM I THE ONLY IDIOT WHO HAS THIS KIND OF CRAP HAPPEN TO HER?!
Overtime.
I’ve noticed that (too often) I sit at my desk for so long that my ass literally goes numb.
There is nothing good that can come of this.
Really?
So in the 8 weeks that have passed since I started exercising regularly, I have actually gained weight. Why does my body do this to me?! It seems like when I actually start trying to take care of my body, it rewards me by getting fatter. That is no way to say thanks.
I’m plotting my revenge. Just you wait and see who has the last laugh.
Proof …
… that we went somewhere.
Last night Husband and I watched fireworks together for the first time ever. We started up our “thing” exactly seven years ago, and since then THIRTEEN different holidays involving fireworks have passed us by. Why?? I don’t know. I think we’re lazy when it comes to following normal traditions.
Not this year, by gum. Now we have the Toddler and it’s imperative that we start traditions. We want him to experience the world beyond daycare and our living room.
I insisted that we take a few pictures to prove that we got out of the house after 7:00 p.m. Sadly, it’s a rare occasion.
Toddler was up WAY past his bedtime but there were no tantrums. He stared at the fireworks in (calm) awe. I, on the other hand, was tickled beyond belief to be in downtown Homewood at night. That hasn’t happened in years.
When I see that in writing it’s really quite embarrassing.
For the past year or two we have relegated ourselves to a happy life of Netflix and frozen pizzas, but I think we’re ready to come out of our domestic cave.
Madness.
Stay tuned … my first column should post on http://www.birminghammommy.com in the very near future! I’m going to discuss the daily struggle of balancing work, family, and maintaining a sense of self (and sanity).
Can modern women really have it ALL, without medication?
I’m still deciding.
Modern Mommy Madness 