Last night Husband got home as I was hauling myself out of the tub. No easy feat.

He waited while I spent the next 10 minutes moisturizing my skin. I have developed a nightly ritual that involves a concoction of Vasline, lavender-scented baby oil, and St. Ives lotion. I have high hopes that my efforts will pay off and I’ll escape this pregnancy with minimal stretch marks like I did with ONE.

That experience (ONE) left me with three stretch marks that have faded and now I can’t even find them. So I fully expect that this experience (TWO) will leave me relatively unscathed. I’ll be pissed if I’m wrong.

While all of this was happening I issued an official warning to Husband that with each passing day from now until TWO’s arrival, he can go ahead and plan on me being more and more disagreeable.

You can go ahead and plan on that too, readers.

I leave you with today’s thought: