My mother-in-law is here, and she has had the pleasure of witnessing my postpartum quirks in all their glory. The anxiety, the obsessive cleaning, the short temper, the yelling at ONE … it’s been something. At least she hasn’t seen me flip out on her son, my husband. We’ve got that going for us.

This morning, TWO had his two-week checkup so I went ahead and scheduled ONE for his three-year checkup as well. There was a torrential downpour, and I got soaking wet, ONE was being difficult, I had been up since 4 a.m. and somehow I was still running late, and I was basically a total stress case. 

On the drive back home, I officially ran out of patience and had a “lunatic moment” that involved yelling and swerving the car while trying to swat at ONE’s legs. It was not my finest hour. In retrospect, I should have just pulled the car over. Next time I will.

Here is the text conversation I had with Husband afterward:

Me: Your mom witnessed me act like a lunatic today. ONE is pushing my buttons. I should have pulled the car over and beat his ass. Instead I put us all in danger by trying to spank his leg while driving. I hate being like this.

Husband: (silence)

Me: I feel like a terrible mother.

Husband: You’re a good mother.

Me: Okay then, I feel like a lunatic. 

Husband: (silence) 

I take his silence to mean, yes, I am exhibiting lunatic-like behavior. But at least I’m not a terrible mother.

ONE getting his eyes checked.