Today I made the glorious realization that not only am I able to squeeze into my regular jeans, but they are no longer slutty-slut tight. This means …

I CAN WEAR THEM IN PUBLIC!

Because (hopefully?) we all know there is definitely a difference between “able to squeeze into” and “able to wear in public.” Half of my closet is filled with clothes I could probably pour myself into, if I really tried hard enough. However, wearing them out of the house would result in one of the following: passing out from not being able to take a full breath, or arrest.

I was so pumped that I asked my three-year-old to take a picture of me in them …

I still have about 20-30 more pounds to lose before I am at a comfortable weight, but I am pretty damn proud of myself for the progress I’ve made in only 5 months, even though I know I lost the weight unhealthily. 

I am not advocating starvation diets, or under-tremendous-amounts-of-stress diets … but I must say … they sure are effective. And so I say — THANK YOU, little children of mine, for being kooky, high maintenance little boys. I may be going crazy, but at least my ass is shrinking.