I need to vent.

I HATE dieting. HATE. I like to eat real, good, real good, food. I am not one of those people who love fast food and fried stuff. I actually prefer vegetables and I avoid red meat completely. I can’t even eat a doughnut because it gives me a stomachache. I eat pretty healthy, except once a month when I will eat anything that crosses my path.

I simply get really hungry. I chase children in a two-story townhouse all day long and I have an addiction to the YMCA, so it’s not like I can starve myself. I need to eat. So I do. I try to make smart choices. Sometimes I eat cookies. But overall I do okay.

I’m mad because I want to lose 20 more pounds and the scale is stuck and I started using My Fitness Pal to help me track calories and now I’m frustrated because I screw up every. freaking. day.

Today I had a reasonable breakfast, measured out my coffee creamer like a good dieter, and went to the gym. After 60 minutes of Zumba I was starving like a freak so I ate an apple in the car on the way home. I also stopped for coffee because today is payday and I think I deserve a little Starbucks in my life.

Lunch was a healthy combination of chicken and cous cous. I was STARVING. I ate until I was full. I estimate that I ingested about a cup of cous cous. So just now, when I entered my intake into My Fitness Pal I learned that I ate 880 calories worth of cous cous. How??? How is that even possible? It makes me furious. 

And now I have 278 more calories left for the rest of the day which makes me want to laugh and then go stick my face in a pizza and drink the oil that pools at the top. Here it is swimsuit season and my swimsuit which was purchased right before I got pregnant with TWO will not cover my ass. It makes me want to sulk. 

I’m sulking. HMPH.