Sometimes I forget why I’m doing this. The stay-at-home thing, that is. It’s easy to get sidetracked by the bills that are stacking up … you know you can pay them, it’s just that you’ll be stuck eating Great Value food for another two weeks. Life happens. Things break. Little problems seem like big problems because you don’t have the money to handle them immediately. You have to wait. You have to plan. You have to be patient. You have to set aside whatever you might want.
Sometimes I get bitter. I forget. I get tired of being patient. I get bogged down by the constant demands of my family and the housework and I forget that I consciously chose this for myself.
I choose this.
Every day. Not because someone enslaved me or circumstances forced me into it, but because I find delight in it. That’s pretty deep. Not many women can say they find DELIGHT in what they do … can they? Although I realize I don’t always sound delightful. Half of the time I’m bitching about something and the other half I’m cackling like a loon or taking pictures of my undergarments cooking me breakfast. I need to post a big sign next to my bed as a reminder, for those times when I feel like my life has become a series of non stop drudgery:
It really does delight me. I’m not being sarcastic. Yesterday I was close to tears when my little one, TWO, suddenly grabbed my face and (I think?) tried to kiss me, and then giggled like it was the funniest. thing. ever. He is my delight. His brother is my delight. My home and my husband are my delight. I truly have nothing to complain about. But yet, I do complain … because I forget.
I totally believe this is the main reason why some stay-at-home moms become one of the following:
1. Crazy. Not the fun kind.
2. Cold to their husbands.
3. Unhappy in their work.
4. Living through their children.
To my fellow Bitchy Faces, remind yourselves of your value. You are not just a maid and a supplier of food and water. Make yourself a sign, and carry on.
And if your husband randomly decides to take you OUT, meaning, outside of your home after 7 pm, then by all means make the most of it.
DO NOT THROW ON JUST ANY OLD THING.
Bring out the goods. Remind him that you’re not just a mommy — you’re his WIFE. I’m no marriage expert, but I know this: there is power in womanhood.
So to review: make a sign, have sex, be happy, and have a life other than your children. That will be $80, please.