Husband is participating in Movember. He has a Mospace. In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, and I’m guessing that you don’t … it’s a moustache-growing charity event for the entire month of November. All 30 days. The goal is to raise awareness and funds for men’s health issues, specifically prostate and testicular cancer.

If you truly want to understand what’s happening and why, and I know that you do, you can visit the Movember & Sons website. Or, you can visit Husband’s “Mospace” and donate. You can also follow the growth of his “mo” there, which I’m sure will be riveting?

Honestly, I am proud of him for participating, and since prostate cancer runs in his family I understand his interest in raising money. But … Movember is bringing me moproblems. Here’s what: Husband shaved clean and will be growing a massive ‘stache all month. I happen to be married to a hairy man who can grow a serious amount of facial hair in like 48 hours. Thinking about what is going to be happening on his face in a few weeks SCARES me.  

Another moproblem: can he do his job effectively if he looks like a serial killer? Yes, everyone at his place of employment is participating. I appreciate a good rally … but … he’s a SALESMAN. As an average consumer, I can honestly say that I steer clear of anyone with a creepy moustache. Especially if he’s trying to sell me something. So will raising money for men’s health issues make us even poorer?! If so, I object.

Next moproblem: I have to kiss this man.

I do not enjoy moustaches, and I especially do not enjoy them when they are by themselves, i.e., no other facial hair to accompany them. Ew. There are rules to the mo and one of them is you can’t have any other facial hair interference. Which … brings me to my next moproblem: I have an entire month of facial hair trimmings in the sink to look forward to, because Husband will be shaping his mo daily. 

BIGGEST MOPROBLEM: the pictures we’ll have from Thanksgiving this year. I shudder to think of it. 

Then, there was the stress I felt this weekend over our family photo. I asked my mother-in-law to photograph us for our Christmas card. Husband refused to shave. Thankfully, he waited until after the picture to do this:

He’s calling this “The Trucker.”

It frightened the children.

Help me.