It seems like things are always going on at the preschool, and since Maverick attends full-time and Asher attends two days a week I pretty much never feel like I am on it. It’s a whole lot of activities and paperwork, times two. I’m constantly not making sure things are signed or money is turned in, and then I get questions from my son like, “I won the St. Jude Trike-A-Thon, so why didn’t I get a t-shirt like my friends did?” 

“Well … the reason you didn’t get a prize is because mommy didn’t fill out the form and help you get pledges or whatever was supposed to happen, I don’t really know because I didn’t read the form … sooooooo …  

Even though you rode faster than any of the other kids, you still didn’t make any money for St. Jude’s. And that is why you didn’t get an umbrella or a t-shirt or a teddy bear. Because we didn’t get any pledges.” 

And then he asked, “What are pledges?” And I said I was too tired to explain, but maybe he could ask Daddy. Which is exactly why my son thinks Daddy knows everything and Mommy knows next to nothing. Because I tire of answering.

I felt bad, but I didn’t make apologies. I have mommy guilt that I don’t voice aloud, because sometimes things don’t happen like you want them to, and 4 isn’t too young to learn that lesson. My son is a doer, like me, and I would like to walk the fine line between cultivating that trait and still being there when he needs me. I mean clearly he can’t read a form and make sure he gets pledges, but now is a good time for him to learn that his mother is only one person and sometimes she falls short and THAT IS OKAY.

Having more than one kid in school is challenging, which honestly was a surprise to me. I can’t even imagine what it will be like when all of them have homework to complete. Maybe I’ll just stop picking up and throwing away and filing the paperwork, and I’ll just let us get buried in it. We’ll be the first people ever to be on an episode of Hoarders because school papers filled the house and eventually threatened to smother us to death. 

Maybe next year or the next, after I’ve birthed this baby and survived the first year of her life, I’ll get better at this multiple kids in school thing. Something about it is just too much for me in my current state. So. A few weeks ago we got yet another form — times two, because I got one in Maverick’s folder and one in Asher’s — that said Staff Appreciation Week is coming up and here are my options! And please select one by April 26th!

1. I could give money (Um, no?), or,

2. Volunteer to serve lunch to the preschool staff (Who would watch Asher while I did that?), or,

3. Donate a “door prize” from my “company” (Believe me, they don’t want any kind of “door prize” from my “company”), or,

4. Send a baked good to school.

Clearly, my best option was the baked good because I am good at baking, so I signed up to bring homemade chocolate chip cookies on May 6th. I was really proud of myself. For once, I was on it. At like 9 months pregnant. BOOM. I was going to bake my Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies for the entire staff and atone for the complete lack of togetherness I’ve displayed this school year. I would wrap them up nicely like the other crafty moms do, with ribbons and bows.

Flash forward to today:

This is what they are getting. Market Pantry. My feet are killing me and I’m exhausted and I was going to put them on plates and try to fake homemade goodness, but WHY. A lot of people don’t like eating things from other people’s kitchens anyway. I could kill myself in the kitchen or I could put my feet up.

I shall put my feet up.

Preschool teachers, I appreciate you so much, and I pledge to do better. Eventually.

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