The Most Boring Person Ever.

My life has become very chaotic and I really can’t tell if I am handling it well or not. There are not enough hours in the day or adults in my house, and we keep running out of food. I am grossly outnumbered and absolutely terrified of the day when the baby learns to crawl.

Since one of the reasons why parenthood can be so isolating is lack of social interaction, I try to make sure I interact as much as possible. Unfortunately, I’ve become the Most Boring Person Ever. My mom took me to lunch a few weeks ago and I was really excited to go. I just had the baby with me, and she didn’t really count … until she produced a massive poop diaper right in the middle of P.F. Chang’s. Then she counted.

But seriously, no children were throwing themselves into immediate danger during lunch so my fight or flight instincts were turned off and I thusly became lobotomized. I was completely spaced out and could not think of anything interesting to say to my own mother. Then it happened again the other weekend when family came to visit. I could not seem to uphold my end of a conversation. My thoughts don’t make any sense, probably because I’ve become unaccustomed to forming complete sentences out loud. All I normally say are half-sentences like “Stop that” or “I’m coming or “FOR THE LOVE.”

As if I don’t have enough challenges, I’ve now become boring to talk to. Which is odd, because my life is certainly not boring … I am just unable to think clearly or talk about it coherently with another adult.

And that, my friends, is reason #3,480 why people think that moms are dumb. Because in all honesty, we ARE. Our minds are mush. So don’t ask us any questions … take the kids outside to play, give us a hug, and hand us a drink. In that order.

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