You know what has always gotten on my nerves? When someone says, “Just wait until …” Like, “You think this is bad? Just wait until …” Because that’s helpful. Thank you, everyone, for pointing out more things to worry about. That is exactly what the world needs.
I understand why people do this. You see a person who has no idea what’s coming, and feel the need to educate them, because, JUST WAIT. If I met my one-kid self today on the street, I’d have to fight the urge to tell her “You think you’re tired NOW?! Just wait until you have three kids. Then you’ll see what tired really means.”
I have found myself choking back unhelpful just waits in recent weeks. I have a friend who is pregnant with her first child, other friends who don’t have children yet, people who are considering things like marriage and job changes and moving. And every time they talk to me, my first instinct is to say “Just wait until …” because I’m coming from a place of exhaustion and it’s hard for me to remember what it was like before.
So I started thinking about that. Just wait.
Just wait until that baby looks at you for the first time.
Just wait until you can say “my husband” when you’re talking about that man. When you say your new name out loud.
Just wait until you hear baby giggles. Just wait until you see them find their feet for the first time. Or their hands.
Just wait until you understand why people say what they say about being a mother. I can’t explain it to you … just wait.
Just wait until you stop caring so much about what everyone thinks.
For every gloomy “just wait,” there are a hundred more happy ones. So maybe if I saw this girl today in the store with this little guy, I’d tell her, “You’re doing a great job. And just wait. It gets so, so good.”
|Mommy and Maverick, October 2009.|