Eaten Alive.

The holidays are eating me alive and I just thought that you should know. 

Actually, life is eating me alive … I can’t blame it all on the holidays. I can, however, pinpoint the day things went from chaotic to i-n-s-a-n-e. It was Halloween evening, when I was running around frantic trying to get the kids ready for a party, thinking of a million different things like, “How will Pepper feel about being dressed like an owl for two hours? She’s going to hate it, probably. I hope this material doesn’t break her skin out … OMG, how am I going to get all three of them dressed in freaking costumes by myself?! I haven’t eaten in almost 12 hours, I should eat something …”

And in the midst of that, Asher bashed his sister over the head with his sippy cup. Hard. I didn’t see it happen, but the way she screamed was alarming. It took about 10 minutes for me to notice the dent in the top of her head, right smack in the middle of her soft spot. I placed an emergency call and Husband rushed home, and of course she’s fine now, but ever since that night I’ve been a bit of a mess. And that was nearly 2 months ago.

I don’t know what to do except continue to ride this ridiculous roller coaster, knowing that my hard work is paying off in ways I’m not yet able to see. Last week was Maverick’s school Christmas program, and he had a solo. My 5-year-old, my “big” boy who is the youngest kid in his school and looked so tiny up on that big stage, sang all by himself. It was absolutely one of the proudest moments of my life.

Thank God for those glimpses that remind me that I can do this, because I am doing this. It takes a lot of resolve to carry on, and don’t ask me where it comes from because I really don’t know. I think people are praying for me not to lose my shit, and so far, those prayers appear to be working. 

Also, it’s a lot easier to carry on when you are wearing adorable shoes. I mean, really.

Thank you Laure for my super cute boots!

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