Clarity.

Occasionally, not often enough, I snap out of The Blur and realize how incredibly blessed I am.

I really have everything I have ever wanted in life. None of it is perfect or how I imagined it would be, but it’s all there. Every single thing, in its odd imperfection. I never asked for an easy life; I wanted a happy one. And that’s what I got: an exhausting, imperfectly happy life.

I read something last night that said if we would just look at our children through a different lens — to think of them as a gift to us — our parenting experience would be totally different. And OF COURSE I believe my children are wonderful, gift-like little blessings, but it’s easy to forget that in the chaos of ear-piercing shrieks and thrown toys. You see, I am very easily blinded by messes and tantrums.

Something I have to be intentional about is waking up and being conciously grateful for my gifts. This all sounds very Pollyanna, I know. I’m sure if you stopped by my house between the hours of 4-7 p.m. I would not seem like someone who is basking in the glow of motherhood. But I openly share the weird and not-great things that happen here, so it’s only right that I share the good things with you too. 

Today I have the clarity to see my life for what it is: very simple, and full of life and happiness. I don’t know what I did to deserve what I have, but maybe instead of asking for more XYZ, I need to be asking for the lucidity to appreciate what’s right in front of me.


 

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