I just had an OH SHIT moment where I realized that by the time summer gets here Pepper will be toddling around. On her feet. 

Like obviously I went into this knowing that children do eventually learn to walk, but part of me was kind of hoping she wouldn’t? Mostly because I don’t know how I’m going to deal with it. 

I kind of just had a panic attack in the shower, but it passed and now I’m fine. Husband has witnessed my gradual unraveling over the past few months and suggested we hire a cleaning lady. That is a lot of money to spend on help, and I’m starting to think I would prefer to put that money towards hiring another capable person to be in this house with me while the children are awake and running in three different directions on their feet.

Having three kids is one of those things I would not have done had I known how hard it would actually be, because I am too chicken. But hi, now we’re in it! Too late to change our minds now. I’m not going to lie, it’s a weird feeling to burst into tears (of terror, NOT the sweet kind of tears) thinking about what will happen when your youngest learns to walk.

I’m sure it’s a passing feeling — I’m just telling you about it because I know that there is someone else out there who is drowning in children knowing that it’s going to get a lot harder before it gets a lot easier. 

Let’s not Pollyanna this.

All together now … YIKES.