Last weekend, I decided to do something new — I took my 6-year-old on a run with me. This activity is considered new because I don’t run.
We took a break in the parking lot of a nearby church and I gasped for air and pondered aloud that I didn’t know what time it was. Where’s your phone? he asked. I explained that I’d purposely left it behind because I need to do a better job of distancing myself from The Thing That Eats My Time.
I love technology. Years ago, when I met my husband, I was staunchly anti-technology. I was more of a purist. I liked fresh air, sunshine, long talks, and I couldn’t afford cable. My then-boyfriend had a cell phone, and I had one too, but I don’t even remember texting him, ever, because we got charged for each one that was sent. For a girl who had $300/month rent and couldn’t afford cable … being charged by the text was a problem. So I didn’t.
I mulled this over and then had the following conversation with my son:
Me: “You know, there weren’t cell phones when I was your age.”
Son: “There WEREN’T?! What did they have? OH! Wait, I know!! The thing Thomas Edison invented?”
Me: “Yes … that.”
At this point in my life, I have completely embraced technology in all forms. A friend asked me recently what I would rather go without for a 31 days: swearing, drinking, internet, carbs, or orgasms? I don’t really want to go 31 days without any of them, but the internet isn’t even on the table. Or drinking. So I guess I’d have to pick among the final three options.
This game sucks.
I got a wine glass in the mail last week that holds 25 ounces. TWENTY-FIVE OUNCES. I had absolutely no idea who sent it. There was no note, and I didn’t recognize the return address. Who possibly could have sent me a massive wine glass?
Finally, I posted on social media asking who sent it. I’m sure everyone waited on the edge of their seats to find out who it was from.
I am so glad that someone much smarter than me invented social media so I could ask one question to hundreds of people at the same exact time. Who sent me this massive wine glass? And thank you! But really … tell me who sent it.
It was from my best friend.
I felt like an idiot.
An idiot who was about to drink 25 ounces of wine.
I hope my best friend sends me that wine glass. If she doesn’t soon then I’m going to tell her she’s not a real friend