Poop and Redemption

This is a story of poop and redemption.

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Our middle child is three, which means he is full of words and energy.

I was so excited to send him fishing with my dad and husband last weekend, for the simple reason that I needed a break from the words. There are so many of them, and he’ll throw in a “MOMMY” just often enough to keep me from completely tuning it out.

In my excitement, I threw a change of clothes and a few wet wipes in a backpack and ushered them out the door. I didn’t ask specifically where they were going. I didn’t pack them any food. There was no pomp and ceremony. I said here’s the backpack, don’t forget the sunscreen, kissed them both goodbye, and shut the door.

You see, when you are where I am in life, you don’t ask questions beyond what is absolutely essential. After almost seven years of constant interruption, Robbie and I have learned how to communicate in shorthand:

Hey.

Hey.

(Insert hand signals so the children don’t know that we are discussing going fishing on Grandpa’s boat.)

 Awesome.

Bathroom?

Yes.

Be careful.

Love you.

Love you.

Bye.

Five hours later, I got a text.

Our poor boy got diarrhea, in the boat, in the middle of a body of water. He NEVER gets diarrhea. What are the chances?!

During the second bout, Robbie was holding him over the side of the boat, because apparently that’s what had to happen, as our child simultaneously peed all over him and shat down the side of the watercraft. It was probably at this point that my husband hit rock bottom.

Meanwhile, my dad just kept fishing.

The moral of the story is that from this point forward, whenever I find myself on my hands and knees cleaning congealed oatmeal off the kitchen floor, thinking that today is the shittiest day EVER, I’ll remember the first time Robbie took our middle child fishing.

And then … I’ll feel better.

10 thoughts on “Poop and Redemption

  1. I just found your blog through Scarymommy.com. Your post are hilarious & relatable. Never has my son pooped off the side of a fishing boat, but there is a first time for everything. Love that your husband had the patience to handle it and did not continue fishing. Love that your dad took the role of a grandpa and did continue fishing. (sounds like my dad) I enjoy your blog so much that I created a shortcut for it on my homepage. From one mom to another, God Bless you & your family!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my…so funny! My boy didn’t have to hang over the boat…but a few years ago we rented a boat on Lake Purdy here in Bham. You may remember, but it is a secondary source of bham’s drinking water. So when he was “about to pop his pants” we quickly parked the boat and found a tree that had fallen on a sandy area. I will forever have the image of him sitting on that tree and the pile of poop on the other side. My husband was stressed. I thought it was hilarious!

    Like

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