I have insomnia.

It blows.

After lying in bed from 10 pm – midnight, I fell asleep. For an hour. Then I woke up to pee every hour, on the hour, four times. At 4:30 this morning, I was so annoyed desperate that I got up and went to Walmart.

I hate Walmart, but it’s not that bad before dawn. There was just me and an old man buying a lot of white bread, and that was it. I was back home by 6:30 and napping by 8:30, but again I woke up every hour to pee and then at 10:30 someone started ringing the doorbell and knocking on my door.

I was PISSED … but not for long. My sweet parents had the most interesting, beautiful arrangement sent to me, in honor of “new beginnings.” 

I’d like to begin now, thank you.