OM.

(source)

Doesn’t she look calm? This is the new, medicated me! Okay … maybe I exaggerate. Lately I have been waking up with a stiff lower back that I am sure stems from lugging around a 19-pound infant all day. Exercise cures that problem, so today I decided to take a yoga class.

I’m in Baton Rouge right now with the kids and it has been lovely. This morning we drove on down to the closest YMCA, filled out some paperwork, and learned I can visit that facility up to 10 times before I have to go to another location. I checked my boys into the Child Watch area and waited for yoga to start. As usual, I made a geriatric friend. Then I realized that I had made a grave mistake. Because while I do practice yoga-type stuff, it’s not “real” yoga. It’s more like a pilates/yoga fusion with fun music and a pretty fast flow. Not a lot of holding positions for long periods of time. And it’s certainly not … serious.
Today, my instructor had dreadlocks. She had a yoga journal and smelled of incense. She had a tattoo that appeared to be in the shape of a country on her upper arm and I stared for quite some time trying to figure out what it was. 
She, as it turned out, is primarily a Kundalini Yoga instructor. Thankfully, we didn’t do much Kundalini yoga today — it scares me a little lot. I have tried it, and I find that making loud noises and focusing my “third eye” actually makes me tense, not relaxed. Dreadlocks kind of made me feel tense as well. She hovered around and adjusted our poses and kind of yelled at us. I kept wondering if she had weird stuff in her house. Yoga stuff. Then I felt bad for pigeon-holing a person I don’t know at all.
Anyway, I was by far the youngest person there and I got my butt kicked. It was humbling. We “om’ed.” And I ended up thanking the instructor at the end. Three hours later my arms still feel like jello. It was intense. 

I clearly need more regimented exercise in my life. So … I proceeded to ungracefully pick up a 50-pound bag of sand by myself when we got home and dump it out for ONE to play in. How am I supposed to plug “haul around a 50-pound bag of sand” into the My Fitness Pal app?

I HATE PRETENDING TO DIET.

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