Husband: Do you want any oysters?

Me: When have you ever seen me eat an oyster?

Husband: I just thought you might want to try one … (to the waiter) I’ll take half a dozen, please.

*** order arrives ***

Me: I’m trying not to watch this. I’m just going to look away.

Husband: They don’t look as bad as the turkey neck I ate yesterday. Are you sure you don’t want one? They’re an aphrodisiac, you know.

Me: I know what’s NOT an aphrodisiac.

Husband: What?

Me: Watching you eat them.

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