Husband: Do you want any oysters?
Me: When have you ever seen me eat an oyster?
Husband: I just thought you might want to try one … (to the waiter) I’ll take half a dozen, please.
*** order arrives ***
Me: I’m trying not to watch this. I’m just going to look away.
Husband: They don’t look as bad as the turkey neck I ate yesterday. Are you sure you don’t want one? They’re an aphrodisiac, you know.
Me: I know what’s NOT an aphrodisiac.
Me: Watching you eat them.