Miley Cyrus is a blonde now. Her newly-lightened hair makes me realize just how bad mine really looks. Of course, she had a highly-paid professional do hers and did not use a box dye like I did. And of course, there are some clear differences between Miley and I. She is over a decade younger. She’s about 70 pounds lighter. She’s rich. Oh, and her hair is actually blonde.

My hair is not only orange, but it’s a lot like having a wooly blanket on my head. It’s big and bushy and orange. Overall, I feel like I am beginning to resemble a lion.