A whole girly world of girly things was opened up to me yesterday when we learned THREE’s gender. I literally cannot stop grinning. I will calm down … eventually. But you see, I am a girly girl, and I have been living with three penises and smelling farts and dealing with things like ONE tasting his own pee to see what would happen.
All three of them (Husband, ONE, and TWO) tune me out the way only menfolk can. It seems to begin in infancy, the ability to tune out a woman’s voice at will. All three of them become engrossed in some activity or another, and seem not to hear when I say things like “Lunch is ready!” or, “Wash your hands!” or, “Put your penis back in your pants!” or, “DO NOT PUT YOUR FINGER IN YOUR BROTHER’S BEHIND.”
I’m having a girl! I can paint her nails! Put her in tutus! Way overdress her for every occasion!
And yes, I am completely aware that our little girl will bring us new and very different challenges. I hope she isn’t bipolar. Or mean. Or unable to grow hair, because I am so excited about fixing a little girl’s hair.
What if I screw her up? What if I model unhealthy behaviors that she picks up on and it makes her crazy or slutty or both?! Being a mother is scary. The idea of mothering a girl scares the absolute shit out of me. I console myself by perusing the internet and finding things like this: