Monthly Archives: February 2013

Big Boys.

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Oh man.

The time is coming, and coming quickly, when we will put both of our boys into one shared room and hope that we don’t spend the remainder of this year and possibly next in a constant state of sleep deprivation. 

Husband and I are nervous. A 4.5-year-old and a 1.5-year-old in a room together … will they do well? Will it be a disaster? Will they sleep? Will they bloody each other and themselves when they should be sleeping? Will bedtime become a total and complete nightmare for me, especially doing this alone because Husband doesn’t come home until well after they are in bed?

I used to be excited about this, but now it makes my stomach kind of hurt. It’s anxiety. This weekend my parents generously purchased the sturdiest bunk beds we could find, along with a large chest of drawers, and I am slowly formulating The Plan. Of course my mind is focused on the decorating of this room, because that is fun and distracts me from the reality of what might actually happen once The Plan is implemented … but here is the fun stuff:

We won’t stack these into bunk beds until they are much older … I’m not ready for a trip to the E.R. just yet. They will be two identical twin-sized beds for now.

The chest is very tall and should hold all of their clothes really well.
I found this “mix and match” bedding at Target – it’s available online only – and it’s perfect. Affordable AND fun.

I was thinking of doing a little solar-system/space theme in their room so the stars work really well. Also, the colors go with all of the stuff they already have. Score!

The furniture is waiting in the warehouse for me to get it together and arrange for delivery. I told them 6 weeks, which would put this transition happening around the end of March. 

Dun, dun dun …

  

Low Point.

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Sometimes motherhood is BULLSHIT and I think it’s important for someone to say this. There are plenty of warm and fuzzy moments and teachable moments and times when you feel like you have really done something good with your day.

But then there are other days that just suck. From beginning to end, they suck. Occasionally this can drag out for weeks. Sucky day after sucky day with little glimmers of warmth and fuzz thrown in. I am currently in the midst of a sucky MONTH.

We’ve all been sick, one right after the other. Husband and I are bickering. The kids are cranky. No one is sleeping well. ONE woke up with a massive nosebleed – it looked very much like he slaughtered an animal in his sleep – and at almost the exact same moment we were dealing with that, we found TWO in his bed stark naked. He stripped off his pajamas and diaper himself and was just hanging out, waiting for someone to retrieve him.

It’s raining and we are on our last $20 until payday. The kids are out of school for the Mardi Gras holiday and I don’t feel like being fun and creative and thinking of cool things to do. You want to know what I feel like doing? Locking myself in the bathroom for 12 hours.

Thankfully, Husband is being really good-natured about my hormonal episodes. Yesterday morning around 9:30-ish I finally had one kid asleep and the other one was with my in-laws and I announced that I was going to take a nice long shower. Husband said “okay” and proceeded to follow me into the bathroom … OH NO YOU DON’T. 

I proceeded to screech at him about how I just needed time to myself and I wanted nothing to do with anyone and he got his feelings hurt (understandably) and went into the living room. A few minutes later I started to feel guilty and went to apologize. I walked in to find that he had shut all of the blinds and curtains in the house and it was really dark and cave-like which instantly put me in an irrationally bad mood. I walked up to him and said, “I was coming to apologize for being mean to you, but then I saw that you shut all the curtains and that made me mad at you again … so I no longer wish to apologize.“

And then I walked away. 

Surely at some point things will start to improve. I realized just how low we had sunk when I showed him my lump, which might be a hernia, and he seemed to mistake it for a booty call. No, that‘s actually my intestines. Perhaps we can try to reclaim our romance once my INNARDS HAVE BEEN SEWN BACK IN.

Innards.

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I have a lump that might be a hernia. I won‘t know for sure until I see my doctor this week. Basically I’m FREAKING THE FREAK OUT and keep telling Husband to be nice to me because it feels like my innards are trying to come outwards.

THESE CHILDREN HAVE DONE A NUMBER ON MY BODY AND THIS IS THE LAST ONE. NO MORE.

All of this upsets me a tiny bit. 

I Love Yo.

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Yes … it says I love yo. He ran out of room — the u is on the back. My 4-year-old doesn’t know how to read yet. Thankfully. This may sound strange, but I dread the day that kid can read over my shoulder. An awful lot of texts leave this house that are not kid-appropriate, and I don’t want to have to explain myself to my overly-inquisitive child.

Anway, he asked me how to write I love you and rather than repeat “I-L-O-V … no, I said ‘I,’ yes, now write an ‘L’ … ” in a painstaking manner, I just wrote it down for him on a scrap of paper as a reference.

Today was the day that we got to have the conversation about women’s intelligence. He knows girls are pretty and smell nice, but now it’s time for him to learn that they are smart too. Well, most of them. Not that idiot who parks her car like this at the preschool:

I don’t know who this woman is, but COME ON. Her ridiculous driving and parking infuriates me on a weekly basis. Lady, get a chauffeur.

Anyway, I really had no idea that ONE thought girls weren’t as smart as boys until today’s conversation. It went a little something like this:

***

ONE: Daddy knows everything.

Me: Daddy does know a lot.

ONE: That’s because boys, I mean men, are smarter than girls.

Me: What on Earth gave you that idea?!

ONE: (thinking) Daddy is bigger than you are, so he’s smarter than you.

Me: Your Daddy is a very smart man, but I’m just as smart as he is. The size of a person doesn’t affect how much they know. There are genius midgets out there roaming around.

ONE: (listening intently)

Me: Daddy is a lot smarter than I am in certain ways. He knows a LOT about a lot of stuff I don’t know about. But I know a LOT about a lot of other stuff. We’re experts in different areas.

ONE: Oh!! So … if you took Daddy’s brain, and your brain, and put them together … YOU COULD RULE THE WORLD!

Me: That’s exactly right.

***

Oh … ONE. I love yo.       

 

Penelope Rose.

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One of my very favorite things to do in this world is to have “coffee talk.” You know, where you curl up with a cup of coffee in your living room or in a coffee shop, and talk to someone you enjoy spending time with. Nothing refreshes my soul more than good conversation and a good cup of coffee.

So if we were going to have coffee this morning, here is what I would share with you. First of all, THREE finally has a name! Husband and I argued and discussed and debated, and finally we have settled on a name we both feel good about for our third child: Penelope Rose. I’ve been calling her Pepper, but if we meet her and she doesn’t seem … Pepperish … we can always call her Poppy or just plain Penelope. But never, ever Penny.

I’d also tell you that yesterday I was in Target with TWO picking up his prescription and I pulled a ninja mom move in the bathroom, which involved locking his shoulder in between my knees while I washed my hands so he wouldn‘t run into one of the stalls and play in the toilet water. He’s got a fascination with toilets … which is kind of a pain in my ass.

TWO has an ear infection and a sinus infection. Boo.

This week I came across some parenting advice that I absolutely LOVE and plan to follow with my own children. I’m forever finding things on the internet that I love, but this really resonated with me. 

I’d also tell you that I have had a really rough week and it literally feels like everyone in my life is trying their hardest to give me a hard time. YOU WIN, PEOPLE. YOU HAVE ALL SUCCESSFULLY GIVEN ME AN ADEQUATE AMOUNT OF GRIEF.  

But … since we had this nice, calm, imaginary coffee talk, I really feel a lot better. The only thing that could have made it better would be a shot of whiskey. Cheers!
 

Mmm.

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There are so many things I don’t know. Like how to get ONE to stop using ugly words and how to get my Husband to stop doing that thing he does when I get mad, that only makes me more mad.

What I DO know is, the Britney Spears station on Pandora combined with homemade chocolate chip cookies make everything better.

 Now instead of thinking to myself, “What is wrong with everyone?!” I’m thinking, “What is wrong with everyone?! AND DAMN, THESE COOKIES ARE TASTY.”

Fun.

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My 4-year-old knows all the words to Some Nights by the band Fun. The other day we were in the car singing 

Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck
Some nights I call it a draw
Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle
Some nights I wish they’d just fall off 
At the top of our lungs, while TWO shook it in his carseat. And I decided, right then, that I couldn’t be prouder.