Dear Husband,

If you want my sympathy when you are sick, maybe you should drink the big cup of water sitting next to your bedside instead of wandering into the kitchen, spreading your germs, and drinking a Coke.

Horrified, I tried to snatch it out of your hands. But you’re too damn tall and held it out of reach. 

This is the point where you lost what was left of my pity. Your mother has been notified. 

Let me know what the doctor says.

XOXO,
Harmony