This week Husband and I had a fight, or really I guess I freaked out on him and then we had a fight. Later on, he went to the store to get butter so I could make some banana bread and he was gone for so long I was SURE he was buying me flowers — because that is what I really want and need when I get angry. Flowers, and a sincere apology (which does not need to be an admittance of wrongdoing, it can just be a “I’m so sorry you’re upset.”)

And yes, I know flowers are stupid because they die after a few days. At least that’s the rationale I always hear from men, that flowers are dumb because they die. Well, they aren’t dumb. You’re dumb for not buying them, DUMMY. Don’t fight the system that has been in place for centuries. Just buy the damn flowers, and know that if you bring home a lottery scratch-off instead … NOTHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN.

I would say that I should write a self-help book one day for men who are unsure how to handle the women in their lives, but that would be pointless and I think we all know why.  

The same men who think flowers are dumb also do not read self-help books.