It’s Valentine’s Day and I have completely dropped the ball. I dissuaded my guilt by announcing that I’ll make it up to them on another holiday. They all just shrugged and said “Ok” except for the baby, who blinked her wide eyes at me.
It’s better for them that the bar is set low, anyway. Then no one is ever disappointed, and when I do get it together and do something fun everyone is pleasantly surprised. Our romantic plans for tonight include watching the season premiere of House of Cards on Netflix and drinking whiskey and Cokes.
Now then. On to butts.
This week I found myself in a heated discussion over whether or not Kim Kardashian’s butt is real or fake and before I knew what was happening I was stomping into my bathroom to take a picture of my own so I could SHOW THEM that it’s not natural to have an ass that big and that smooth-looking with arms and legs as thin as hers. As the owner of a large ass, I know what I’m talking about. Maybe she hasn’t had butt implants per se, but she’s had the dimples sucked out at the very least. Something has been done. I am not fooled.
Happy Valentine’s Day!