I met a friend at the park this morning and we were talking about being uptight, anxious, OCD … whatever you want to call a person who feels the need to jump out of bed in the morning and immediately make coffee and unload the dishwasher. It has to happen right away, immediately, because it would bring universal dread and destruction if dirty dishes pile up before the clean ones are unloaded. DO NOT QUESTION ME.

All I could think as we talked was, “Thank God I’m not the only one.”

Motherhood must be so much easier for people who don’t get all stressed out when there is unfolded laundry in a basket somewhere in their house. It must be nice to not feel like the world is ending if toothpaste gets on the mirror right after you cleaned it, or the baby crawls through your bathroom and emerges with beard hair all over her hands and knees.

So I’ve been trying to relax, and just go along with how things are right this moment — today — and embrace that shit.

But … have you ever seen a baby teethe on brick? It’s unsettling.

Teething LIKE A BOSS.

I let it happen because I was making a conscious effort to be relaxed. Now that I think about it, this wasn’t the best time to decide to be cool hippie mom. I should have been normal, uptight mom when I saw her start to do it, but I was so fascinated, I just stood there and stared. Clearly, I need more practice.

Can we all agree that the boys have a good reason to fear their little sister? SHE’S TEETHING ON BRICK. That is seriously hardcore.