The Slacker Mom Table.

The PTA is hosting a “movie night” at the school with pizza, hot dogs, and a bake sale to raise money for a new playground. I got the flier in my son’s paperwork on Friday, which said to send wrapped baked goods with your child on Monday.

Which is today. And I forgot. Of course I did.

So this morning, I got him on the bus and then dressed the little kids and went to the grocery store for some of those bakery cookies with icing on them … you know the ones. I bought three huge containers of them and took them to the school. Two secretaries were sitting in the entryway when I walked in.

I explained that these cookies were for the bake sale, and then I said, “I’m sorry, I know they aren’t individually wrapped — is that a problem? I guess I’m a slacker mom.”

Secretary #1 said “That’s fine,” at the same time that Secretary #2 pointed to a table behind me and said “You can put them over there on the Slacker Mom table.”

I turned around and spotted a sad little table that was filled with sad little boxed bakery goods. There was no flair. No cellophane wrappers with ribbons tied around them. No little happies. Just plain, clinical-looking, clear boxes with plain cookies in them, and here I was about to add my flair-less stack of store-bought goods to the pile like the slacker mom that I was. Everything about it said “Slacker Mom.”

I pictured all the non-slackers who worked furiously the night before making tiny turkeys out of Little Debbie snack cakes, or whatever it is that they do (I wouldn’t know), and then I pictured the other moms like me who just grabbed whatever random cookies were sitting in the front of the grocery store, and I started laughing so hard that no sound came out.

Secretary #2 started to freak because I was just standing silently (shaking with laughter) with my back to her, staring at the table in front of me. She started apologizing profusely, saying “I’m just kidding! You’re not a slacker! We appreciate them so much! Thank you so much!!” I nodded and waved bye, and as the door shut behind me I heard her call out one more time, “WE APPRECIATE IT!”

I know they do. And I’m totally owning this title from now on. I am a Slacker Mom who shows her love simply by showing up, sipping a coffee, and sharing her enthusiasm.

WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME?!

Slacker Mom

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9 thoughts on “The Slacker Mom Table.

  1. Hey!! At least you remembered!!! I’ve forgotten many a snack day and I just have the 1 kid. You are doing awesome and this blog is my favorite to read ever since Robbie told me about it a work a few years back.
    I try to be the “cool” mom since she’s a cheerleader and 13. It’s usually a “ok mom, you can go now” but I try!!! Also have tendencies to tell her stories from the 90’s when I was REALLY COOL. I’ll never be cool again. Lol

    Like

  2. LOL! I know I’ll be thinking of this story and feeling better in a few years when I’m totally the slacker mom at school. I’m already the slacker mom at daycare that doesn’t voluntarily bring in cute, holiday themed snacks for the kids.

    Like

  3. Pingback: Virtual Happy Hour. | Modern Mommy Madness

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