For approximately 6 weeks, I have felt like I just cannot get it together.

I’m forgetting things. I’m struggling to get simple tasks accomplished, like keeping food in the house and making sure Maverick’s school uniforms are clean. Robbie would ask me something like, “Where are all my boxers?” and I would get irrationally angry.

At first I thought I was just tired from the holidays. Then, I thought it was probably because I’m trying to write and get published more, and that takes time and energy.

Maybe I was anemic. My mother-in-law asked if I have had my thyroid checked recently … maybe it was that. Maybe I’m not sleeping well enough.

I bought some ZzzQuil.

My mother asked me on several occasions, “Are you okay?” or, “Why are you so tired?” I could never come up with a good answer, because what am I supposed to say?! I HAVE KIDS. But my husband was starting to give me concerned looks, and I was starting to wonder about myself. What was my problem?! Did I need to cut back on writing? Did I need to start going to bed earlier? Take more vitamins?

And then, it dawned on me.

The toddler.

Pepper, with her always-sunny disposition, has become a true toddler. She runs from me, darting between my legs. Half of the time, when we are at home, I have no idea where she is. She’s a climber. She tries to touch the cooktop when I’m boiling eggs. She attempts to grab the hot frying pan. Tonight, she opened the oven when it was set to 425 fish-stick-cooking degrees.

She bites. She pulls everything out of every drawer, cabinet, basket, and box. She hits and pulls hair. I am forever grabbing her hands and reminding her, “Be gentle.”

She locks herself in rooms and closets. She learned how to open doors and loves to sneak into the bathroom to play in the toilet. She tries to strip herself naked.

She enjoys trying to dive headfirst into the bath tub when her brothers are taking a bath, but her very favorite thing is eating wet sand at the playground.

Pepper has started really talking. She screams “EAT!” or, “I HUNGRY!” when she needs food. She says “I SOWWY!” when she bites me. She exclaims “I DID IT!” and “HI, PEPPER!” because she mimics everything her older brothers say and do. This includes yelling “SHUT UP!” at inappropriate times. She also will randomly yell the word “poop.”

I am not anemic. I am not depressed or stricken with another bout of mono (I had a terrible case of it in high school). It’s an even graver condition, I’m afraid. One that will last another 12, maybe 18 months.

I have toddler.

Pepper does not enjoy being judged.

Pepper does not enjoy being judged.

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11 thoughts on “Toddleritis.

      • Harmony… I am in the same boat as you. I just didn’t have a name for it. I lamented to my mother that I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I forget things all the time and I just can’t get my shit together. My son is 20 months also and RAGES whenever we have to do something he doesn’t want… like get dressed in the morning or change diapers. Do I really have another YEAR???


  1. Oh my word. I do not know you–but we have the same child. Mine is a boy toddler–but he also yells “I did it!” with total pride after hitting, biting, kicking, ripping or breaking. If he passes gas, however, he yells “Mommy tooted!” right in the middle of church. And then he says “You reek, mommy!” Much to the delight of his three older siblings whose laughter is his reason for living. I sometimes wonder if I can live another day. Like the other day when I found him on top of the ladder climbing onto the roof to join my husband in cleaning out the gutters. I almost pinned a “free” sign to his nose. But it passes, doesn’t it? It always has before. Good luck finding all those boxers along with your sanity 🙂 LOVE the picture of her!


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