Well, It’s Monday Again

Because when there are no words, there is almost always the perfect GIF. Hello from Groundhog Day #31.

I got some backlash for my latest post, which you can read here if you missed it. If you’re offended by a lot of profanity, I’d advise you to maybe skip that one. Listen close, cats: I love my children. Really. I also realize that I’m fortunate to be married to a man I still enjoy being around. We have a roof over our heads, and I know this won’t last forever. That doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to be mad about it.

My challenges are mostly due to the fact that I’m

A.) Trying to remain sober, while

B.) Raising two children with very different, very challenging, issues. Plus a third kid.

These facts do not mean it can’t be done. In fact, the reason why I share my experiences is to hold myself accountable as well as help other women in a similar situation see that there really is hope for anyone who is struggling with any kind of addiction disorder. If you don’t struggle with addiction, it might be hard for you to understand why LOSING THE THINGS THAT KEEP ME TOGETHER while at the same time PARENTING CHILDREN WHO ALSO LOST THE THINGS THAT KEEP THEM TOGETHER feels so damn impossible.

If you have not been in this position, please don’t chastise me for freaking out about it, because all that does is make you an asshole.

The thing is, that the feeling of impossibility is actually probably a lie. The truth is that deep down inside of me there is a strength that I can tap into — but only if I choose to.

Every day, I get to make that choice.

So, in the spirit of choosing to be okay when very few things are actually okay, here are a few things that are bringing me joy — or at the very least, a chuckle? — during this very challenging time.

  • This post from McSweeny’s, OMG. Funniest thing ever.
  • I’m growing plants! This orchid has been with me since November, and I just bought the rosemary plant. So far, so good. I’d like to branch out to growing things in the yard, but I’m paralyzed by the fear that I’ll invest a ton of time and energy and then everything will die. Suggestions are welcomed — I live in South Louisiana, so the climate is tropical(ish).
  • I found a bra so comfortable that I went back and ordered two more. Dillard’s is having a great sale on loungewear, and since that’s what I’m living in now I decided to stock up. My curvy sisters, may I present the Natori Bliss Contour Wireless Bra. I am a 34 DDD and am forever in search of support and comfort. This bra is so comfy that I SLEEP IN IT.
  • Videos of hedgehogs as pets. Just trust me on this. I spent several hours watching hedgehogs taking baths, hedgehogs taking foot baths, hedgehogs playing in their spinny wheels, and on and on. My friend Rach (of the blog RachRiot) has a pet hedgehog named … wait for it … Quillie Nelson. Read all about it here, if you are so inclined.
  • Bob Dylan. The calmness of his music makes me happy.
  • And finally, we made names for our alter egos. Example: when Pepper loses her shit, we call her Janice — as in, “Uh oh, Janice is here. Everybody scatter!” Something about referring to our Quarantine Selves as alter egos makes us laugh, and laughing is exactly what we need right now to get through this thing.

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7 thoughts on “Well, It’s Monday Again

  1. I love this post, especially the alter egos…hilarious! You are a fantastic momma and I deeply appreciate how candid you are when things are tough.

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  2. I made a mistake in reading the comments on your last Facebook post. They pissed me off so much for you. I don’t have the addiction struggle, but I have the depression/anxiety struggle. And my son is……. we have an official diagnosis except ADHD yet. I know it’s more, even with people telling me I just have standards that are too high for an 8 year old boy (I don’t). So, people jumping to conclusions really piss me off.

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  3. Harmony! Hang in there! I’ve been in your shoes. My kids are now 17, 19, 21. One time they were 1,3,5. Another time 4,6,8. Etc. you get it. I used wine to get through those rough years. I suddenly realized I didn’t want them to know me as that person. In July 2010 when they were 7,9,11 – I quit. I stopped. Cold turkey turned it off. It’s now been almost 10 years and I’ve been able to teach and share my story with MY KIDS. They are so proud of me. That’s when it all comes back around and makes me proud of myself. I know in the throws of it – I couldn’t see past today. Try to look 8-10 years in the future and be the mom now that you want your kids to know. I agree with whoever said – put dad in charge when he comes home and take an hour. I never asked my husband enough for help even though he would’ve done anything for me. If you need to drive to have peace – get in the car and go park somewhere for an hour. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. We are all just doing what we can do! Lastly – never underestimate the power of Jesus. Even in your darkest times, he is there With you. Ask him for help to get through your day. I hope this encourages you in some small way today. 🥰

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  4. Wow. People who were offended by your last post need to f*&^ right off. I am not trying to remain sober, but I am dealing with two children and their schoolwork while simultaneously working remotely in a demanding job (that could be in jeopardy if all these shut downs continue), while managing my own mental health and fears that I could die if I catch this virus.

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    • Sorry, hit enter too soon. Adding: we are all trying to get through a difficult and unprecedented set of circumstances, and if you can’t write about your feelings about that experience on your blog, where can you?

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