Loose Change.

Last night I was minding my own business when I realized that ONE had a mouthful of …

… wait for it …


When I said “WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH?!” He ran away. So then I had a child with a mouth chock full of pennies, dimes, and nickles running in the house. Perfect.

Husband jumped up off the couch yelling at him to spit them out right now, and so he did. Right into the bathroom sink. Then he turned on the water. 

I propped my feet up and listened to Husband frantically try to stop money from rolling down the pipe. Never. A. Dull. Moment.

Holiday Cheer.

Today was full of holiday cheer. It was ONE’s last day of school before Christmas break, and he wore pajamas to school. They asked us to do this for the Christmas program, just so we’re clear. On our way, we stopped at the U.S. Post Office to mail a letter to Santa. He knows Santa isn’t real, but we like to pretend that he is.

Oh yes … this is happening.

Later, after I showered and got myself together, I was preparing to go see ONE’s Christmas program. We’re all battling a nasty cold and TWO was staying home with my (also sick) mother, so I thought I would be going all alone …. until I got a surprise call from Husband saying that he was able to leave work and meet me there. Christmas magic is alive after all!

We were so proud of him! He did great, and seeing all those kids sing their hearts out kind of made me emotional. Children really do bring JOY to this world.

Later, ONE said, “Mommy, I was so nervous at the Christmas Program, but then I saw you and Daddy and I didn’t feel nervous anymore!” So finally, for the first time in awhile, I know that I did my job today. 

I also sat cross-legged on the classroom floor with a bunch of 4-year-olds and listened to another parent read “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” I was the only adult who did this and I felt silly, but ONE wanted to hold my hand and have me right by his side. He invited me to play Legos with him and his friends. He wanted me to experience his world, and I did, on my knees, at eye-level with all of them. And I enjoyed it immensely, because how much longer will I have this magical time of his childhood? These years are excruciating and precious and possibly killing me slowly all at once. But mostly they are precious. He was so proud of me. And I am proud of him.

I did not eat a cupcake at the party. 

So I guess I’m proud of me too. 

Sunday Rearrangement.

Today was “Preschool Sunday” at the church where ONE attends school, so we got all dressed up and churched as a family. This never happens. It made me feel like a good mom. I was riding especially high after the children sang. 

There’s ONE, in the plaid shirt, on the far left. He did a great job. He was the first one up on stage and he performed with gusto.

See that big screen in the background? Those screens are located all over the sanctuary, to make sure everyone gets a good view of what’s happening up front. Right after this picture was taken, the pastor, who is a woman, gave the “Children’s Message.” They all crowded at her feet while she told a story. 

I was perched proudly on the edge of my seat, still feeling like I must be the best mom ever, when ONE sucked in his stomach, reached his hand down the front of his pants, and proceeded to rearrange himself in front of the entire congregation. No one missed a thing, of course. Thanks to the giant screens. 

When he was done, he high-fived the pastor for something unrelated, and I felt everyone around me cringe.

Since the four of us are almost never all dressed appropriately at the same time, we asked my in-laws to take our picture. Here’s what happened: the children look sullen, I look oblivious, and Husband looks like he hates us all. 

Someone on Facebook suggested we hang them upside down by their feet next time. I think it’s a great idea.