“God, what’s your phone number? Do you have cookies at your house? Or tea?”

Yesterday, Husband and ONE carved pumpkins. Here they are, hard at work.

It was super cute.

Apparently, Husband used a permanent marker to trace the faces and he forgot to bring it inside when they cleaned up. He DID, however, remember to bring in the knives and sharp tools that they were carving with … so kudos to him for that.

Later that afternoon, ONE was driving me crazy so I sent him outside to play. A few minutes later I noticed he was riding his bike up and down the driveway, holding that marker. 

And I knew.

I failed to capture a picture of his hands and his bike which were also decorated. Thankfully, he was stopped before he went crazy on the car … or the house …

I was irrationally angry at Husband for leaving the marker out there, like angry to the point that I later had to apologize because it was just too crazy. And, like he pointed out … at least he remembered to bring the knives in.

ONE got a hold of my phone yesterday. I know this because I found the following images in my “gallery,“ and I certainly didn‘t take them. 

They make me smile.

Today when I picked ONE up from school, his teacher wanted to “conference.” So we did. She said that my son talks nonstop and we need to work on that, because if it continues he will have problems next year when he heads to Kindergarten. 

She said, “He just talks CONSTANTLY.”

Well … yes. That he does, ma’am. That he does.

I think I started giggling, but she was definitely not laughing so I stopped. So I said to her, he’s done this since birth. I wasn’t making excuses, I was just telling her I am AWARE. I’m KEENLY AWARE of the chatter that occurs from morning until night. 

This is the part I left out: that his talkativeness is one of the biggest reasons why we sent him to school in the first place. So he could talk someone else’s ears off. 

I also did not say, “You’re welcome,” or “I prayed for you.”

What’s the best way to teach a four-year-old boy not to voice every thought that comes to his mind? He’s not going to learn this skill overnight. He’s making significant progress, but … I forsee a lot more conferences in our future.

ONE:  ABRACADABRA!!!!

… why didn’t you disappear? Ok, I’ll try again.

ABBBBBBBRACADABRA!

… why are you still here, Mommy?!