My 5k race is in exactly two weeks and I’m beginning to feel a little concern. You see, I was doing just fine with my training until a few days ago when I had a really GREAT run and just knew there would be no problem with running 3.1 miles.

Since that day I have had nothing but a string of crappy runs and now I’m worried that I won’t be able to do it! I’m sure the heat has something to do with it … I have been going for 5 a.m. runs to avoid the heat and it’s still 80 degrees out there. It’s like trying to run in a sauna. I dislike it very much — I do not handle heat well. I feel like I’m not able to hydrate properly beforehand, since I literally roll out of bed and out into the street. I’m not sure what to do about this problem, but drinking lots of water before bed is not the answer I’m looking for.

Sometimes I feel lonely even though I’m surrounded by people. It usually signals a need to see my mother.

I hope my children still need me when they are 30.

Me and my Toddler were on our own again this weekend. Husband had to work Saturday and Sunday, so I did the single mom thing. Usually we have a great time when we’re on our own, although I’m always exhausted by the end of the weekend. Unfortunately, this weekend, I seem to have either contracted some sort of stomach virus from my child — or my child’s poop– or possibly ate something bad on Friday that gave me a touch of … something. Something that seems a LOT like a close relative to food poisoning.

I have not enjoyed it.

Anyway, managing an extremely clingy 21-month-old plus repeated trips to the restroom does not a good time make. Every time I exit the room I hear “MAMA!! MAMA!!” and then tiny footsteps following me. At that point he will either beat on the door and cry, or, if I let him in, pat my thigh and stare at me while I do my business.

In fact, here he is hanging on my leg while I write this blog.

And then, moments later, he’s fine again.

I think one thing I’ve had to learn as a mother is to just try to stay even tempered regardless of what kind of mood my child is in. And even though he’s very clingy right now, I am enjoying it while I can. One day he won’t even want to be seen in public with me.

I just signed up for my first 5k. It’s June 26th and I’m terrified.

I love the outdoors. I think over the years I’ve forgotten that part of myself. My childhood was spent running through 40 acres of forest with our German shepherd. I had a pink bike that I would ride full-speed through the woods … like some kind of high-topped, blonde-haired, bat out of hell. I’m sure my parents thought I’d end up in the ER with a broken limb at some point but miraculously, I never did.

I spent many hours by myself paddling our metal canoe from one side of the lake to the other, looking through the murky water at the fish and turtles. Growing up in the middle of nowhere cultivated something in me that I want to inspire in my own children … imagination, independence, and a certain fearlessness.

Somewhere between ages 13 and 30, I lost myself. I forgot the best parts of me. Where did that strong girl go? My priorites changed, my attitude changed, and my outlook changed. Now I have my own little boy and I keep thinking that I want him to experience digging in the mud and riding a bike as fast as it can go. I think that is one of the blessings of having a child … it forces you to remember what is really important to you. What gives you life. What gives you the energy you need to LIVE that life.

Now that I’m 30 I’ve started to return to my roots. I don’t know if this is a natural evolution or simply a concious decision to be a happier, healthier person. Being outside rejuventates my spirit in a way that I can’t explain. I’ve spent too many hours of my life holed up in classrooms and now, in my mauve cubicle at work under florescent lights. As of … RIGHT NOW … I’m going to spend more time outside enjoying everything that life has to offer. Me and the Toddler are going to make some mudpies.

The Toddler has entered some sort of phase that I grudgingly admit must be the Terrible Two’s. It has appeared early. Hopefully it will END early. We have to treat him with the same careful consideration as you might treat an elderly family member with the mean kind of dementia. Not the sweet kind, where they call you “Sugar” and pat your hand. I mean the mean kind where they throw things and scream at you because you gave them the wrong kind of crackers.

So we took him to get a haircut this weekend, which was an adventure just like all of our other errands. He freaked when the lady pulled out her scissors. He cried the entire time. We pacified him with a sucker. I was always very judgy of pacifying children with candy until recently when I realized the magic that a popsicle or a sucker wields. I will now consider this my secret weapon. I’ll pull it out as a last resort. I like knowing I have that option.

At home, our latest strategy is to WEAR HIM OUT. Lately that involves playing the backyard with the water house. I encourage digging in the dirt. Anything to keep him busy. So far, that seems to be working.

I keep thinking that I can’t imagine having another baby on top of this crazy situation, but then I look at my little dirt-covered boy smiling up at me and I think … how can I NOT?

Yesterday began my journey into the running world. I met my friend after work for Day 1 of the Couch to 5k program. We took a deep breath and just dove in. All in all, I’d say it was a success … mainly because I didn’t:

1. Collapse
2. Puke
3. Cry
4.

I did, however, feel like my insides were going to fall out of my hoo-ha. Is that normal? Also, my exercise pants were creeping down and my undies were riding UP which is a terrible combination. I won’t be wearing those pants again. I’ll save them for yoga.

Having someone with me to keep me going made all the difference in the world. I like to think I’m a motivated person, but when it comes to doing something seriously uncomfortable, I prefer to just give up and/or lie down. This afternoon we’re going to do it again … this time I’ll be wearing shorts and I fully expect to have a wardrobe malfunction of some sort.

I’m coming for you, 5k race!!!!

Today has been exhausting, but fun. The Toddler woke us up at 6:00 this morning, which is early for him. I let Husband sleep in a little bit … he will owe me next weekend. I plopped Toddler in front of Yo Gabba Gabba with some raisins and that gave me enough time to drink some coffee and make breakfast.

He loves that State Farm bear!

I intended to post last night’s culinary creation last night, but by the time I was done cooking, cleaning up, and putting the Toddler to bed, all I wanted to do was space out on the couch with a glass of wine. And that is exactly what I did.

So I’m not a huge fan of Rachael Ray. Actually, I can’t stand her. Her voice is annoying/manly, her recipes aren’t THAT great and they always contain a million different ingredients. However, I made one of her recipes last night and the Toddler actually ate it! I’m on a huge spinach kick right now so I am trying to find ways to get him to eat it.

I made a few modifications to the original recipe.  Mine contained:

• 3/4 box whole wheat shell pasta
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 3 cloves of minced garlic
• 1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved
• One 9 oz bag of spinach
• Salt and pepper
• 8 oz feta cheese, broken into chunks

Boil the pasta according to directions on the package.

In a skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Add garlic and cook until golden, about 4 minutes. Stir in the tomatoes, spinach (it seemed like a LOT of spinach but it wilted quickly and became more manageable), and 1/4 of the water reserved from the pasta. Throw in some salt and pepper, add all of this to the pasta and put in the feta.

YUM! The recipe called for walnuts, but I omitted them because they seemed pointless and it’s just extra fat. There is already olive oil and feta aplenty in this. Success!

I’ve recently made the decision to take charge of my family’s health and start (slowly) phasing out processed and sugary foods. Basically anything without nutritional value, is out. I’ve told Husband he can keep his Pop Tarts and Mountain Dew but he just needs to stow it far away from the rest of us. The Toddler is getting to the age where he notices if we’re eating something different and he wants to eat what WE eat.

I’ve started (slowly) gaining more knowledge about new recipes and approaches to cooking that I’ve (slowly) been implementing. Baby steps. So get ready … I’m going to begin photographing my kitchen creations. I have never had a healthy relationship with food so it’s my goal to eventually learn how to properly fuel my body and appreciate what it can do. I want my kids to grow up in that kind of environment.

As a Never Home Maker, a.k.a. “Working Mom,” I am challenged with finding the time and energy to plan and prepare healthy meals for my family. My journey begins with tuna salad.

After playing in the hot sun today I really wanted to make the Toddler something filling yet light so I whipped up some tuna salad. My mom has always made the BEST tuna salad and each time I make it, I almost get it right, but something is always off. Today, I got it right!!! It contained:

•  1 large pack light tuna in water
• 3 hard boiled eggs (I recently mastered boiling eggs)
• 1 large dollop of mayo (as soon as we use this container up, and the one in the pantry, we’re switching to Veganise … sorry Husband)
• 2 big scoops of sweet relish
• 1 stalk celery, grated
• 2 green onions

It tasted just like being seven. I had plenty left over. This makes about 6 servings. We ate it with baby carrots, celery sticks and blue corn chips.

Tonight’s creation is Mac & Goat Cheese. Ready yourselves.