Origami Owl.

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You guys.


I’ve made a discovery. 

You know how obsessively excited I was when I got my cowboy boots? And my fedora? Well, this is kind of like that. So brace yourselves.

I have a friend named Carrie. She told me about a company she’s working for, Origami Owl, and how cool the jewelry is. They have these things called “living lockets” and I was intrigued … mostly because I had never heard of such, and I’m all for wearing something interesting. I’ve never been much of a locket-wearer, but I was open to the idea. 

Anyway, I selected some charms to put inside the locket (a cross, a typewriter, a coffee cup, the word “love,” and a hummingbird) and Carrie shipped it to me and OMG. I LOVE IT. I can’t say that about everything. I wear this necklace all the time, and I get compliments on it. 

Here is a cell phone pictorial journey of my Origami Owl experience …

Hello, lover.

Love the cute owl!

It’s like he’s saying “Hello, I have something for you!”

The locket was encased in some sort of fortune cookie-looking pouch! Love!

Here’s my locket! Hello. I’m going to wear you.

Carrie’s business card!
I’ve been experimenting with pairing my locket with different outfits, and my favorite way to wear it is with something super fancy or workout clothes. Here’s some shots of me sporting my newest favorite accessory …

Going out on the town with Husband (cowboy boots not pictured) …

Heading out to grocery shop …

And my favorite … workout clothes.

Wow, look at the state of my closet. It’s a major cluster, but that’s a whole other post.

Anyway, you can choose from a variety of lockets and charms and she can “build” it for you. It’s affordable – lockets start at $20 and charms start at $5. There is a lot more I could say, but I’ll boil it down to this: they make amazing gifts for yourself (yes, please) or others. I am actually about to order one for a dear friend of mine who just had a baby girl.

Carrie wanted me to tell you that she’s running a promotion for readers of this blog. She will give a free charm to anyone who does the following:

1. Places an order at carrie.origamiowl.com
2. “Likes” her facebook page (Facebook.com/origamiowlbycarrie)
3. Sends her a facebook message with the code MMM and the order number.

Easy as pie!

WHEEE!

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TWO has learned a new word. Yesterday, he was tossing blocks into the air while saying “WHEEE!” Much like you would if you were on a rollercoaster.

I wondered to myself where he learned that, and then I realized I say “WHEEE!” an awful lot. Mostly while driving. 

I Am Not A Bad Mother.

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ONE didn’t want to go to school today. See how pissed off he looks? He is NOT HAPPY. Also, I can see my tonsils.

It’s surprisingly hard to leave your kid at school when he doesn’t want to be there. Not logistically hard, like when he’s wrapped around your leg and your arms are full of a very large baby named TWO. Because that happened. And it wasn’t fun.

No … I mean it’s emotionally hard. Like you feel like a bad mom because your kid doesn’t want to be left there and you are definitely, without question, going to leave him there. 

Every morning I put on my peppy face, seen above, and tell him he’s going to have so much fun! and learn so many cool things! and before he knows it, I’ll be back to pick him up. 

Some moms linger and give kisses and hugs. Not me. I tell him I love him, and I bolt. I have things to do. He will adjust.

They tell me he’s very cheerful once I’m gone. When I return after lunch, he never wants to leave. I am not a bad mother. I am not a bad mother. I am not a bad mother.

The Most Reluctant Runner Ever.

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I’ve started running … well, walking and jogging … in the mornings. I do not enjoy it. I prefer to Zumba my way to fitness. But, because of budget concerns, I had to cancel my Y membership. So no more fun classes until further notice. 

Lack of exercise was not only making me feel disgusting, but I literally woke up one morning and found that cellulite was beginning to creep around to the front of my thighs. Clearly this is unacceptable. So, I decided to train for a 5k.

I ran a 5k once. Two years and some months ago, in the heat of June. Although it was exhilarating to reach a physical goal that I set for myself, I hated every minute of it. It didn’t help that I trained with two of my friends who were both skinnier and much faster than me. I had to angle my body between them for this picture so my ass wouldn’t knock them entirely out of the photo.

Anna, me, and Courtney. Fast bitches.

This time, I have a friend motivating me who is — are you ready? — training to run a marathon. Her name is Kelli and I don’t think she realized the task she was taking on when she volunteered to be my cheerleader. I now text her incessant, grumpy-sounding messages. 

It seems like I know way too many people who are able to run 13+ miles. All of them are freaks. I never want to run that far. Ever. It sounds absolutely excruciating. And for someone like me who runs a 12-minute mile, it would be entirely too time-consuming.

Not being naturally thin makes me grouchy. If I could, I would text my genes every morning during my warm-up and say, “I AM NOT PLEASED THAT I HAVE TO DO THIS.” But instead, I text Kelli.

On Being Married.

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Next month is our 7-year wedding anniversary.

Seven.

I realize I know nothing about marriage in comparison to someone who has, say, been married for 35 years. Seven is really just a drop in the bucket when you look at the big picture. And in a way, it seems like it’s only been half that long … like our marriage REALLY started when children started arriving. Or maybe I just can’t remember our life before that.

I take it seriously. Relationships have to be maintained or they will die, pure and simple. It’s not easy. I can see why some people give up. I can see why some people can’t make it. There were times when I wasn’t sure if I could handle another day with this ridiculous man. 

Clearly, he never thought this about me. CLEARLY, he never thought to himself, “I can’t handle this crazy bitch and her crazy ways one more day.” 

This is me being sarcastic.

But we have made it. We are making it. If we can get through the first 7 years then I am certain we can make it through the rest. Why? Because we want the same things out of life. Happiness. Simplicity. Love. Fun. We have learned how to communicate better. We have learned how to just say how we’re feeling (“I would love to duct tape your mouth shut right now.”), deal with the issue, and then move on. 

I feel like our relationship is really just a bunch of foolishness and off-the-charts love for each other. That’s it. I LOVE THAT MAN. He loves me right back. Apparently that is all that is required for us to be happy. The foolishness keeps it fun even when we’re annoyed, which is often, and the love seems to do the rest. I find it fascinating to hear what other people require in their relationships to make them work happily. 

Today I asked Husband to take a picture of my butt in a new pair of jeans.

Seven jeans from T.J. Maxx, $29.99, with a waistband that comes up high enough to hide my muffin top.

He didn’t ask questions. He didn’t make fun — out loud. He took the picture, silently listening while I told him, “These jeans are amazing because they stretch and don’t dig into me and OMG, I have a huge ass, why is my ass so huge?!” And then he asked me if I was planning to eat tampons and cookies for lunch. Because this was the bag I packed to take with me for the day.

And that was our morning. 

So this is all I’ve got so far, and you can take it or leave it: figure out what you need from your spouse and ask for it. Be happy in your marriage. It’s the most important thing in your life, even before your children. Without Husband, I wouldn’t have my children. He comes first. That can be hard to remember.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have cookies to eat.