Jumping Jacks.

Interviews are not my strong point. At all. Just ask one of the many members of management at my old corporate office where I endured several panel interviews before quitting to stay home with the kids.

Painful.

I have strong interpersonal skills, but when I’m being focused on intently by someone I don’t really know, I go weird. This is why one of my current life goals is to avoid putting myself in a situation where I’d have to go through an interview EVER AGAIN.

Writers and bloggers shouldn’t have to be interviewed, right?

Wrong.

I was very flattered to be asked to participate in a podcast interview recently (details forthcoming). I know very little about the world of podcasts, but I said yes without hesitation because why not, right? Then I proceeded to stress out about it for a week and eat ALL THE THINGS.

Yesterday, the day of the interview, I totally panicked. I paced around the house, checking the clock repeatedly, waiting for it to strike 12:30 so I could dial the number — which I also checked and rechecked repeatedly. I was so nervous and had no idea what to do with myself, so I put on my adult onesie and did jumping jacks. Because that’s normal.

I spent the interview being weird and laughy and trying not to yell “THIS IS TERRIFYING!!!” into the phone. Because, nerves.

If I ever have to return to the workforce, I might wear this to the interview. At least I’d feel warm and cozy.

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If I ever end up famous (snort) and someone asks me, “Do you get nervous during interviews?” I’ll totally lie and claim that I never get nervous because I practice daily meditation, eat steamed kale for breakfast, and eschew caffeine.

I will not admit to jumping jacks and camouflaged onesies.

But you’ll know the truth.

WHAT?!

The amazing and talented Toni Hammer (if you don’t know who she is, you should immediately familiarize yourself) wrote a piece wherein I blabbered on and on and she actually posted it on her website.

You simply must read it. Now! Click here!

Pinch me.