Courage Is Being Scared To Death.

BIG WEEK HAPPENING OVER HERE.

First of all, I did a podcast interview about 6 weeks ago (remember that?) and it’s now live and available for listening to!

Yikes. All the yikes.

I was in the middle of Target yesterday when I got the notification that it was live. From now on, I need to leave my phone off when I run errands because otherwise I’m just a hot fucking mess. The shopping cart came to an abrupt halt in the middle of an aisle and while my toddler screeched “OUT!!!!!” I frantically texted my husband to please listen to my podcast and tell me immediately how idiotic I sound.

You sounded nervous but it’s fine, he replied.

Then I took this picture of myself fearfully gripping a box of Honey Nut Cheerios, because I thought later on I might want to see what I looked like on the Day That My Podcast Interview Went Live.

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Terrified in Target.

I look terrified.

I was. I am.

Even though I love doing this stuff, it’s still scary as hell. Apparently this is all a normal reaction on my part and it will continue to get easier as I become accustomed to the ways of Following Your Dreams. At least, that’s what they tell me. And I’m not going to let a little fear get in the way of me doing something. If that was the case, I would never do ANYTHING.

You can find the interview here, but beware — it’s 32 minutes of me talking, and because I was so worried about people not being able to understand me if I jabbered too Southerny or too fast, I overcompensated and talked too slowly and basically sounded like I was high as a kite (I wasn’t. Sadly.).

Second … guess what tomorrow is?!

BOOK RELEASE DAY!

11079547_433655656794354_4695438212564475753_nI am excited and anxious and I can’t sleep and I’m eating all the wrong things.

I’ll post again soon and give you all the details on where you can find the book. In the meantime, let’s all hold hands and quote John Wayne: “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” Right?

RIGHT.

Jumping Jacks.

Interviews are not my strong point. At all. Just ask one of the many members of management at my old corporate office where I endured several panel interviews before quitting to stay home with the kids.

Painful.

I have strong interpersonal skills, but when I’m being focused on intently by someone I don’t really know, I go weird. This is why one of my current life goals is to avoid putting myself in a situation where I’d have to go through an interview EVER AGAIN.

Writers and bloggers shouldn’t have to be interviewed, right?

Wrong.

I was very flattered to be asked to participate in a podcast interview recently (details forthcoming). I know very little about the world of podcasts, but I said yes without hesitation because why not, right? Then I proceeded to stress out about it for a week and eat ALL THE THINGS.

Yesterday, the day of the interview, I totally panicked. I paced around the house, checking the clock repeatedly, waiting for it to strike 12:30 so I could dial the number — which I also checked and rechecked repeatedly. I was so nervous and had no idea what to do with myself, so I put on my adult onesie and did jumping jacks. Because that’s normal.

I spent the interview being weird and laughy and trying not to yell “THIS IS TERRIFYING!!!” into the phone. Because, nerves.

If I ever have to return to the workforce, I might wear this to the interview. At least I’d feel warm and cozy.

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If I ever end up famous (snort) and someone asks me, “Do you get nervous during interviews?” I’ll totally lie and claim that I never get nervous because I practice daily meditation, eat steamed kale for breakfast, and eschew caffeine.

I will not admit to jumping jacks and camouflaged onesies.

But you’ll know the truth.