A lot of other bloggers have a “newsletter” that you can subscribe to and they email them out every week or so. But I have an inbox full of newsletters that I haven’t read and probably never will, so I decided not to subject you people to a Modern Mommy Madness newsletter. It is just another thing that would cause me needless stress.

Instead, I started vlogging. I think we can all agree that this is a terrible idea, but I was cooped up in the house with two small children all last week and I did it out of BOREDOM.

I do a lot out of boredom. Like eat.

If you want to see the vlog fantastic, you’ll have to follow me on Facebook here until I master YouTube and/or figure out how to share the videos on my blog. I keep waiting for Robbie to gently tell me that it’s time to stop, but he hasn’t yet … which means I’m going to continue searing disheveled images of myself into the eyes of the internet.

In other news, I had another piece published on Scary Mommy — you can check it out here. Also, I sold 100 copies of “I Still Just Want To Pee Alone” in TEN DAYS. That was unexpected. I imagined that I would be sitting on a corner somewhere under a tent next to those people who sell area rugs with tiger faces on them.

I kept telling everyone I’m not a salesperson. I don’t sell things. I don’t know how to sell books! I guess I lied. If you want a copy, please drop me a line (modernmommymadness@gmail.com) and let me know! I’ll re-stock soon and start taking orders again once I’ve recovered.

I had a super cute helper at the post office.

I took my youngest to the post office with me last weekend. She loudly sang “Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star” as a line of 12 scowly people waited for the clerk to process my box of books. Her little voice echoed throughout the building as the man next to us filed a complaint with a manager because “offensive material” is being delivered to his home. I tried to read the form as nonchalantly as possible without him noticing — WHAT KIND OF OFFENSIVE MATERIAL? — but the print was too small.

The other thing that happened this weekend was that I noticed my husband again after several days of forgetting he lives here. Nothing like seeing a big strong man carrying a sleeping child to make me sit up and take notice.

Well played, Robbie Hobbs.

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