Today I went to Super Target to look for a new bathing suit. We leave for the beach in approximately 48 hours and none of my old ones cover my butt.

What I learned from my trip to Target: no bathing suits cover my butt. Because I have saddlebags. An extension of each butt cheek which extends outward on either side, making it virtually impossible to cover up.

After trying on all Target has to offer I reached the conclusion that I may as well wear my old one. My ass will be hanging out either way. Strangely, I don’t feel depressed about it. More like I feel inspired to lose the saddlebags before next summer.