|Doing normal boy things.|
ONE has his first crush.
HE’S FOUR. I have no idea how to handle it. I know that sounds dramatic and I’m sorry. I have been in deep denial for about two weeks and now that I can no longer ignore it, I’m coping with it the only way I know how: a blog entry.
Ever since school started, he’s been talking about some little girl who won’t play with him. Not to be confused with the girl who always tells him “NO!“, that’s a different one.
Anyway, every afternoon he would excitedly chatter about his day, but then would suddenly get quiet as he talked from the backseat about some little girl who refuses to play with him. At first I thought maybe she was mean, probably because she has a mean and snotty mommy, so I encouraged him to play with the other kids. There are lots to choose from, I reminded him.
As the days passed, our conversations evolved into this:
ONE: I don’t want to play with the other kids. I want to play with HER.
Me: You can’t make kids play with you. It doesn’t sound like much fun to try to play with a kid who doesn’t want to play with you … she doesn’t sound very nice.
ONE: SHE IS NICE.
Me: What does she say when you tell her you want to play?
ONE: She tells me she is too busy. I keep following her but she is just always too busy.
It was this same conversation, or slight variant of it, every day. This is when I started asking different questions.
Me: ONE, why do you want to play with this little girl? She doesn’t sound fun to play with.
ONE: (quietly) SHE IS FUN. And … she’s really nice. And … she wears pretty clothes.
Bam. It hit me. My son has a crush. I didn’t say anything to him … in fact, I did that weird parent thing where I suddenly changed the subject, turned up the radio, and went into my safe place. I told Husband about it later that night and as it turns out, ONE has been telling him about “the little girl who won’t play with me.” We decided to ignore it, and we’re certainly not going to encourage it. I’ve never been a fan of telling little kids, “Ooooh, you have a boyfriend/girlfriend!” and such. They’re little kids. They have lots of time to figure out romance and I am certainly not going to plant thoughts in their heads.
Also, the thought of my son having a crush weirds me out in ways I’ll never understand and it makes me feel quite uncomfortable discussing it. Wow, I’m really uptight and a little bit prudish. That came out of nowhere. But all I can think about is that one day, he really will want to kiss a girl and hold her hand and GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE, and I just can’t think about it right now. He is four. I’m supposed to have more time.
One thing he has going for him is his tenacity, which will serve him well one day. He certainly is a persistent little fellow. I caught him trying to put hair gel in his hair two nights ago. I asked what he was doing and he said, I’m trying to look handsome so that little girl will play with me. Will you help me, Mommy? He looked up at me with his big gray eyes and I just wanted to cry. Of course I will help you.
I smiled and helped him fix his hair at 7 p.m. and when he took his bath we were careful not to get it wet. The next morning he asked if we could find “handsome clothes” for him to wear to school, and again Husband and I were silent and acted like everything was normal, EVEN THOUGH IT CLEARLY WAS NOT.
Last night, over dinner, he informed us that looking handsome had not worked. The little girl still was too busy to play with him, and so he formulated a new plan to win her affections. Before he could elaborate on this, I asked her name. He doesn’t know. I said maybe she doesn’t want to play with you because you forgot her name. He laughed. I said she may change her mind, girls are funny like that. And he said, “Tomorrow I’m going to ignore her. And then she’ll want to play with me. And when she says ‘Maverick will you play with me?’ I’ll say … YES! LET’S PLAY!!!!!“