I got a hot pink Chi flat iron for my birthday and I spent a very long time this morning flattening the bushy blanket of hair on my head. I then wrapped it all up in Velcro rollers to give it volume, applied my makeup, and took the rollers out. My hair was smooth and shiny and so, so soft.
I drove out to a really bad part of town where I had an appointment. I got out of my car …
And right at that moment …
A truck drove through a gigantic puddle of nasty ghetto road water and sprayed me with it.
It was just like the opening scene of the TV show Sex And The City (I have watched every single episode, where Carrie Bradshaw is walking down the sidewalk looking fabulous in a vintage tutu and sees her face on the side of a city bus and has a moment.
Right before that bus splashes her with nasty New York City street water.
Well, I guess my experience wasn’t just like that. I’m not skinny, I don’t go without a bra, and my face was not plastered on the side of the vehicle that sprayed me. Also, I do not own a tutu. Sadly.
But it did royally piss me off, and now I have to wash my carefully-flattened hair 12 hours later because there are probably prostitute germs, murder germs, dirty needle germs and drug money germs in it.
I have spent my entire day trying not to think about what actually might be crawling around on my head. This was definitely a sub-par way to start my day. However, I don’t praise the classic ponytail enough — it really can mask almost any hair issue you encounter.
Including prostitute germs.