Today I realized that my 3-year-old isn’t as attached to his special blanket anymore. I realized that I have never rocked my 21-month-old to sleep, because she is the third child and in this house, the third child gets a bedtime kiss and dumped into her crib without ceremony.
Now that my oldest eschews rocking and my middle only lets me do it sometimes, I WANT TO ROCK SOMEONE BEFORE BED, DAMN IT.
Motherhood makes me feel like a crazy person. In fact, I am a crazy person.
To prove my point, I have created a visual aid using a family picture of us from October 2012, two months after The Great Negotiation.
What’s The Great Negotiation? That was the time I spent months trying to convince my poor husband that I wasn’t done having children and we needed more, despite the fact that we were struggling on one income and had two very challenging boys — one of whom was not quite a year old. I felt like we totally needed to throw one more baby into the mix. That made sense to me.
This is how I know that mothers have something deeply, psychologically wrong with them.
The Great Negotiation took place during date night at Outback Steakhouse. My husband eventually wore down and said “FINE. But I have to get a vasectomy before the baby is born.” And I said, “FINE. I’m ordering a beer.”
Less than a year later, our daughter was born.
Less than a year after that, I regretted allowing the vasectomy. Because I have a mental illness.
It’s called Mother.
Ha! I am D-O-N-E. But I have to admit that sometimes I get a little inkling for another. Then I hear my kids fighting upstairs and slam my head in a door.
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HAHAHAHAHA!
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Hahaha!!! This is awesome! Five kids and a craaaazy household later I, too, am still suffering from this mental illness.
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I went through the big negotiation… I even went as far as typing up a spreadsheet of costs and budgeting to prove we could have another baby at that time. I already had three boys, my youngest was almost 5. I wanted a baby though, another one before 30. I won.
I promised that I would get my tubal immediately after number four was born. I did! I closed up shop. 4 boys was quite enough. A year and a half later, there are days of regret… because yup, crazy mother brain. Then The Boss flings something at me and jumps off a chair and I regret nothing!
Loved this!
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Our Great Negotiations have all happened at Outback, also! But, after this third time of going through toddlerhood, I’m pretty sure Bloomin’ Onions are from the devil.
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For as long as nature allows, I dont think I would ever be done. Despite long teething nights or terrorising tantrums, there will always be empty womb syndrome!
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I love this post. Love love love. Just quietly I wish we hadn’t agreed to not have any more little people.
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Crazy.😄😄😄Enjoyable post!
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This is hilarious! I have two boys (four and two) and I cannot fathom a third. You must suffer Mommy Madness! 😉
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