Ergonomically Correct.

I have entered the world of infant carriers. I’m finding it to be overwhelming.
When I had ONE, I was basically clueless about what items would help me salvage the remainder of my sanity. I used a hand-me-down infant carrier to walk for hours with him every week. After he finally outgrew it (and the colic that prompted me to carry him everywhere), I threw it away. I was so sick of wearing it. And it wasn’t really comfortable anyway.
This time, I know better. TWO is shaping up to be a different breed — his colic seems to be corrected, but he fusses a lot unless someone is holding him. I think he’s a very social baby. He likes to be upright, so he can look around, and he gets upset if you stick him off in a corner somewhere by himself. I truly don’t mind holding him, unless I am busy with ONE. Which is often. And as I mentioned in an earlier post, a friend is letting me borrow her Moby Wrap, but I simply cannot deal with that thing when a child is screaming. Which is often.
Apparently, when under motherhood-type stress, I go into a weird mental space that causes me to lose ALL my motor skills. It’s like when ONE locks himself in his bedroom. We have a key above his door, and I can totally open it, unless I’m mad, in which case … forget it. 
So armed with all of this knowledge, I just spent way too much money on something called an Ergo. Behold. Here it is in all of it’s bright green glory. Yes, I picked the loudest color option available. If I am going to tote my baby around in something that was overpriced, I at least want it to be fun to look at.

 
Let’s go ahead and file this under “things my husband will never understand.”

Etsy.

I think I’m addicted to Etsy. 

I just bought this wall decal for ONE’s room. I was actually looking for something to put in the baby’s room, but this was $18 so I snapped it up right away. 

www.etsy.com





























Finding cool stuff for TWO’s room has been challenging. Or maybe I’m just picky and have strange taste. I’m just not a fan of the typical “baby” stuff … not to mention, I won’t allow Winnie The Pooh in my home. I have a serious problem with that bear.

Power Mama, Meet Super Mom.

Here they are. My new friends.

I look just like this lady when I put them on. Skinny everywhere, except for my tummy.

Okay … that was a lie. But I must say, these things are comfy. Getting them on my body was a struggle I wish I hadn’t undertaken in front of an audience (ONE and Husband sat staring while I wrangled myself into them), but … you live, you learn.

I also wanted to introduce to you “Super Mom.” This is is what will happen postpartum. 

I’ll be topless with a cape.






























Sara Blakely, I love you.

What I’m Loving This Week.

1. Husband felt TWO kick the other night.

2. The Real Housewives of Orange County. Those are some crazy bitches.

3. I just figured out how to use my paddle brush properly. I’ve only had it for three years.

4. Apples.

5. Cinnamon-flavored applesauce.

6. Clinique “Even Better” foundation makeup. Because my skin needs serious assistance.

7. Granny panties.

8. Post-It notes in neon colors, “borrowed” from my office.

9. Facebook. Still.

Life-Changing Event.

Blackout curtains have changed my life.

I always shunned them. I think Husband has mentioned getting them several times and I ignored him. Why should I listen? This was coming from the same man who saw nothing wrong with having a bed sheet tacked over our large bedroom window. The very same man who is happy to sit in the dark all day watching TV and eating messily. He never opens the blinds or curtains. 

It’s very cavemannish.

I love light. I want as much natural light as possible in my my house … even if that light wakes me up way too early sometimes. A dark house just smells musty to me. It makes me feel like mold is growing. So I NEVER thought I would do what I did on Sunday, which was to hang navy blue curtains up in our bedroom to block out as much light as possible. 

I am desperate, people. I need rest.

This is what happens when my mother orders stuff from Pottery Barn Kids. I take some of it for my own. The navy blue was too dark for ONE’s room … but it works just fine for mine.  

No one has to know where they came from.

Fabulous.

May I present to you … my latest find.

My new purse shines like the sun. I want to lean toward it and see if it will make me tan. It is from Gap, originally $50, and I bought it for $16.99.

My sad hand-me-down iphone camera does not do it justice (I know I take horrible pictures). It really makes me happy to look at it. Especially on a dreary, blah, post-time-change Monday.

My next project: find pizazzy shoes that are both comforable and as close to flip flops as possible.

Find of theWeek!

Bookends!

I have a slight book fetish that I’d been starving until recently, and now I can’t control myself. I keep discovering new books I’m dying to read. And then … I found these! I bought them at Kohl’s for 80% off, at $5.99. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

I’m so excited about them.

On an unrelated note, I take terrible pictures. I am so sorry for all of you who have to look at them. I’d like to blame it on my camera … so I will.

Dear Amazon: You Complete Me.

I think I’m slow to catch on to certain things. Like any kind of technology, or anything online. I mean … I eventually get it, it just takes me longer than most people my age. 

I’m slow.

Case in point: Amazon. I just ordered three new books the other day and I am so stinkin’ excited. Everyone else is unimpressed. Why? Because they have been buying stuff online for years now. Not me. I’m slow.

I couldn’t find time to go to the bookstore. I thought about it for weeks, literally. And then I remembered Amazon. And instead of having to find time to go to the bookstore in person, I sat at home and shopped ONLINE. At NIGHT. I didn’t feel rushed. I didn’t have a child with me. Or a husband, for that matter. I wasn’t trying to cram my trip into my lunch break. I took my time, selected my books, and — POOF! — they will be delivered to my doorstep.

I got myself a good read.

Image from http://www.amazon.com.




My understanding is that this is not a sex book, it’s a novel — just so we are clear. I might overshare a bit, but I do have limits.

I also got the Toddler a book.

Image from http://www.indiebound.org.

















 

And last, but not least, I bought a parenting book. I used to be a self-help junkie, but since becoming a mother — I switched to these.

These days, even if I had time to read a book about how to set boundaries, I wouldn’t have the time to actually implement the steps.

The result of this is … I plan to remain crazy, and raise happy children. Is that so bad?

I Hate Walmart.

I recently discussed my love of Publix. Now I shall discuss my hatred of Walmart.

Generally, I’m a big fan of the bargain … but only to a point. If said bargain requires a lot of aggravation, it’s not worth it to me. I’ll gladly OVERpay to avoid needless aggravation. This is why I don’t go to “doorbuster” sales the day after Thanksgiving. I’ll just pay full price, thank you.

Obviously, Walmart has an edge when it comes to price, and that is the only reason I go there. Diapers and Pull Ups tend to get expensive. I really dislike the place, but I put up with it because I live on a budget. If we had more money (even just a LITTLE more money), I would never step foot in there. Never.

Today, I had a short list of items which contained red lentils — I needed them to make a soup I found on a food blog. Of course, Walmart does not carry red lentils. In fact, all of the dried legumes were Great Value brand, which I was not okay with. Sell your store brands if you must, but give me real brands to choose from too, please. 

My visit went downhill from there. It was ridiculously crowded. There were not enough cashiers. My patience wore out before I even paid for my items, but the final straw took place on my way out. 

I was thirsty and tired and really wanted a Coke. I rolled The Toddler over to the drink machines by the exit and put a dollar in. I’m not quite sure how to explain what happened next. I heard the can descending so I leaned over to grab it.

As usual, the can rocketed to the bottom … but this time,  Coke spewed all over me. I still don’t know how or why, but my favorite yellow coat is no longer yellow, my hair is crunchy and my clothes got soaked. It was like there was a water hose of Coke spraying out of the machine.

Since my son was with me and I was trying to set an example, I calmly said “time to go” and we rolled out. I crankily unloaded him and my three bags into the car while a line of people waited impatiently to nab my spot. A Walmart employee stood right there staring and did not offer to help when I dropped one of my bags whilst struggling with my Toddler.

I wanted to say a bad word. I thought one in my head. 

Next time I need anything, I’m going to Publix. My husband will just have to deal.