My new friend, who actually isn’t “new” anymore, is super helpful around the house. I was looking for her this morning and I found her doing a load of whites.
She’s definitely pulling her weight around here.
My Friend.
Festival.
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| Me and my boy. |
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| Kelly and one of her cutie pies! I normally don’t associate with skinny people, but I make an exception for this one because she’s like family. |
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| Holding that giant baby. No one told me my bra was hanging out, KELLY. |
We’re making childhood memories! I am giving myself a pat on the back right this minute.
However. No one told me that making childhood memories can be seriously exhausting for the parent involved. I took the kids to the Hot Air Balloon Festival last night. TWO hadn’t had his afternoon nap and I was without Husband. We had to leave early because I could tell that the baby was heading to Crazy Town and I wanted to avoid this. It was a close one, let me tell you. Good for me for spotting the signs and getting us the hell outta there before it happened.
My arms are tired this morning from pushing a double stroller through a field, my feet have definitely seen better days and ONE has a black eye.
It was totally worth it. We’ll be back next year.
ONE’s First Crush.
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| Doing normal boy things. |
ONE has his first crush.
HE’S FOUR. I have no idea how to handle it. I know that sounds dramatic and I’m sorry. I have been in deep denial for about two weeks and now that I can no longer ignore it, I’m coping with it the only way I know how: a blog entry.
Ever since school started, he’s been talking about some little girl who won’t play with him. Not to be confused with the girl who always tells him “NO!“, that’s a different one.
Anyway, every afternoon he would excitedly chatter about his day, but then would suddenly get quiet as he talked from the backseat about some little girl who refuses to play with him. At first I thought maybe she was mean, probably because she has a mean and snotty mommy, so I encouraged him to play with the other kids. There are lots to choose from, I reminded him.
As the days passed, our conversations evolved into this:
ONE: I don’t want to play with the other kids. I want to play with HER.
Me: You can’t make kids play with you. It doesn’t sound like much fun to try to play with a kid who doesn’t want to play with you … she doesn’t sound very nice.
ONE: SHE IS NICE.
Me: What does she say when you tell her you want to play?
ONE: She tells me she is too busy. I keep following her but she is just always too busy.
It was this same conversation, or slight variant of it, every day. This is when I started asking different questions.
Me: ONE, why do you want to play with this little girl? She doesn’t sound fun to play with.
ONE: (quietly) SHE IS FUN. And … she’s really nice. And … she wears pretty clothes.
Bam. It hit me. My son has a crush. I didn’t say anything to him … in fact, I did that weird parent thing where I suddenly changed the subject, turned up the radio, and went into my safe place. I told Husband about it later that night and as it turns out, ONE has been telling him about “the little girl who won’t play with me.” We decided to ignore it, and we’re certainly not going to encourage it. I’ve never been a fan of telling little kids, “Ooooh, you have a boyfriend/girlfriend!” and such. They’re little kids. They have lots of time to figure out romance and I am certainly not going to plant thoughts in their heads.
Also, the thought of my son having a crush weirds me out in ways I’ll never understand and it makes me feel quite uncomfortable discussing it. Wow, I’m really uptight and a little bit prudish. That came out of nowhere. But all I can think about is that one day, he really will want to kiss a girl and hold her hand and GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE, and I just can’t think about it right now. He is four. I’m supposed to have more time.
One thing he has going for him is his tenacity, which will serve him well one day. He certainly is a persistent little fellow. I caught him trying to put hair gel in his hair two nights ago. I asked what he was doing and he said, I’m trying to look handsome so that little girl will play with me. Will you help me, Mommy? He looked up at me with his big gray eyes and I just wanted to cry. Of course I will help you.
I smiled and helped him fix his hair at 7 p.m. and when he took his bath we were careful not to get it wet. The next morning he asked if we could find “handsome clothes” for him to wear to school, and again Husband and I were silent and acted like everything was normal, EVEN THOUGH IT CLEARLY WAS NOT.
Last night, over dinner, he informed us that looking handsome had not worked. The little girl still was too busy to play with him, and so he formulated a new plan to win her affections. Before he could elaborate on this, I asked her name. He doesn’t know. I said maybe she doesn’t want to play with you because you forgot her name. He laughed. I said she may change her mind, girls are funny like that. And he said, “Tomorrow I’m going to ignore her. And then she’ll want to play with me. And when she says ‘Maverick will you play with me?’ I’ll say … YES! LET’S PLAY!!!!!“
Husband told him that was an excellent plan.
This morning I found him in the bathroom putting gel in his hair again. He insisted on wearing handsome clothes so I can look handsome so the little girl will play with me, Mommy. And when we got to school, his teacher approached. “He’s got his first crush, Mama.” That’s what she said. And I think I mumbled “Okay,” before I mentally rushed to my safe place.
The little girl’s name is Alissa. ONE follows her all. day. long. Alissa is tolerant of it to a point, and then she gets annoyed.
I feel her. Boys can be a real pain.
To Be That Perfectly.
“Do not wish to be anything but what you are,
and to be that perfectly.”
– Saint Frances de Sales
I came across this quote today. It really hit home with me because lately I’ve been having a little bit of a crisis. Not like a serious life crisis — nothing like that. More like a crisis of self.
I’ve been helping my mother get some of her old paperwork organized and I’ve had the pleasure of sorting through bills and report cards from my stint at college. I use the word “stint” because I was one of those in-for-two-semesters, out-for-two-semesters types. I went to a private Christian university and after racking up an obscene bill there, I had a major quarter-life crisis one semester from graduation and ended up moving home, quitting college and meeting a hot boy who smoked and played pool … my future Husband, who had also dropped out of college.
Finally, seven years after finishing high school, I graduated from Louisiana State University with a degree in Mass Communication. It exhausts me just to type all of that. I can’t imagine how my parents must have felt watching it.
Today I was sitting at the dining room table staring at all the stacks of stuff, thinking to myself how many thousands of dollars were poured into an education that I’m not even currently using. I am a stay-at-home mom. That’s what my job is. I get paid exactly zero dollars. And that’s when I came across that quote, written on a scrap of paper in my mother’s script: “Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and to be that perfectly.”
I know down deep in my soul I am doing what I’m meant to do. No question. So I stood up, and fixed my ponytail, and had a sandwich. When TWO woke up from his nap I told him, “Asher, I am your mother and Maverick’s mother and Daddy’s wife and I wish to be nothing else at this time. I’m going to do the best job of it today that I possibly can.”
He smiled and said “WHEE!!!!”
And just like that … life is perfected.
And just like that … life is perfected.
Maladjusted.
I started writing for Birmingham Mommy again! You can read my latest article here. All is right in the world. I finally got myself together.
Not really.
That was a lie.
Just Another Tuesday.
TWO seems to be intent on making a trip to the Emergency Room. All I had to do was pee. I just left for a minute.
It looks like what happened was he was walking around his room and fell face-first onto a hard surface. His eye has a cut across it and was bleeding, which totally freaked me out because I was sure that the blood must have been coming from his EYEBALL.
He’s fine now. You should see the other guy.
What I Did Today.
Today I ironed seven size 4-T dress shirts. No one will notice this.
I See Curves.
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| (source) |
FINALLY!!
A celebrity that looks like a normal person.
Life Lessons.
ONE talks a lot about school. There is a little boy who gets in trouble for picking his nose, calling people “stupid” and not listening. Thankfully, this little boy does not belong to me.
Today, we had this conversation:
ONE: Mommy? There is a little girl in my class who always tells me “NO.”
Me: What do you mean she tells you “NO?”
ONE: She tells me no. Like when I want to play with a puzzle, she says no. Or a dinosaur. She tells me no.
Me: Is she telling you no because it’s something she is already playing with? Are you trying to take toys away from her?
ONE: No. Nobody is playing with the toys, they are on the shelf. She just tells me no, all the time, and it’s driving me cuckoo, Mommy, it really is.
Me: Is this little girl the boss?
ONE: No.
Me: Who is the boss when you’re at school?
ONE: The teacher is.
Me: Okay then. It’s good for you to learn how to deal with different kinds of kids, ONE. You know why?
ONE: (staring)
Me: Because when you grow up like Mommy and Daddy you’ll have to deal with difficult people. This is your first lesson. You might as well learn now while you’re four.
I think I have done enough for today.
WTF?!
I got this piece of advice from a friend today and it really hit home with me. She said, “Enjoy your life. You never know when your shit will hit the fan.”
She knows what she’s talking about. Life is fragile and brutal and amazing and beautiful and you never know what might happen next — good or bad. I am reminded of this every so often when something bad happens to someone I love. Life is hard. We are challenged and tested at every turn. Some challenges are easily overcome; some seem insurmountable.
Today, I am grateful for everything that I have, including faith in a God I cannot see. He continues to bless me even when I look up to heaven and say, “WTF?!” Because you know I do.
Modern Mommy Madness 