Conference.

Today when I picked ONE up from school, his teacher wanted to “conference.” So we did. She said that my son talks nonstop and we need to work on that, because if it continues he will have problems next year when he heads to Kindergarten. 

She said, “He just talks CONSTANTLY.”

Well … yes. That he does, ma’am. That he does.

I think I started giggling, but she was definitely not laughing so I stopped. So I said to her, he’s done this since birth. I wasn’t making excuses, I was just telling her I am AWARE. I’m KEENLY AWARE of the chatter that occurs from morning until night. 

This is the part I left out: that his talkativeness is one of the biggest reasons why we sent him to school in the first place. So he could talk someone else’s ears off. 

I also did not say, “You’re welcome,” or “I prayed for you.”

What’s the best way to teach a four-year-old boy not to voice every thought that comes to his mind? He’s not going to learn this skill overnight. He’s making significant progress, but … I forsee a lot more conferences in our future.

Bad Mommy.

Bad mommy moment #5,673: when I almost wiped ONE’s butt with one of these.

How did that happen? Well, I am very, very tired. And I was cleaning the kitchen when he started yelling from the bathroom “MOMMY! I GOT PEE ON THE FLOOR!” And I came running because his little brother is asleep … I got the Clorox wipes and cleaned up the pee … then he said he was done pooping and I guess robot mommy took over and pulled a Clorox wipe out … and I snapped out of my fog riiiiiight in the nick of time.

ONE is so helpful. He exclaimed (while I stood there in horror at what I almost did), “Mommy, is that a Clorox disinfecting wipe?! You could have KILLED ME!!!” 

No. Not killed. Let’s not be dramatic.
 

Honey Boo Boo.

My friend who shall remain nameless told me that show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo on TLC was mildly entertaining, and then Husband came home and caught me watching it, and the next thing I know my son is naming his new stuffed animal Honey Boo Boo.

So I guess … meet Honey Boo Boo. The newest member of our family.

This bitch just barged into our house with her go-go juice and cheese puffs and made herself at home.

Seven.

Seven years ago today I married my best friend. He’s still my best friend. 

Come rain or shine, hell or high water, there is no one else I’d rather weather life with. An added bonus: not that many people realize that I am actually the weird one in our relationship. Let’s just keep it that way.

Last weekend, we strolled around hand-in-hand listening to jazz music float through the streets. We looked at art. We looked at people. I may have caught him looking at me a few times. We dreamed about what the next seven years will bring. And no matter what happens, I feel secure knowing that whatever may come … we will be okay.

We are still young and full of hope. So much has happened since we married, but life stretches out before us with endless possibilities. Our life together is happy. We are blessed.

Robbie Hobbs, I will love you until I take my last breath. Thank you for loving me.

Couple’s Therapy.

I happened upon this article today and I really liked it – I found it to be so well-written and concise, and most of all, about a topic I could go on and on about. COUNSELING!

Husband and I have been through a lot during our time together and I can say that the one thing that helped us through our worst time ever was couple’s therapy. Hands down. I’d go again in a heartbeat if we ever find ourselves in that bad place again. Because I feel like it saved us, I am annoyingly passionate about telling others to GO.

On a cruise, circa 2007. One of my favorite pictures of us together.

A lot of people might know they need help, but they are worried about the money, time, and logistical issues, along with the overall fear they will have to overcome in order to go to an appointment. I admit, having to broach the topic to the other person in the relationship can be a hurdle in itself. 

Don’t forget … you once loved this person so much you committed your life to him/her. There is absolutely no reason why you should live the rest of your days UNHAPPY. One way or another, it can be fixed, and if it can’t be fixed, then you should make a change. I want everyone to be HAPPY! It’s a sickness I have. 

Maybe I should seek therapy for that.

NP Set.

Y’all know when I discover something that has changed my life, I have to share it immediately so it can change yours too. May I present … NP Set eyeliner. $15 at Target, last week’s big splurge and worth every penny.

target.com

If I had real money to spend, I am sure I would have discovered something more fabulous by now at Sephora or some such … but alas. I don’t have money to spend, and therefore I normally settle for Cover Girl cosmetics. I like to line the insides of my eyelids – upper and lower – and I struggle with keeping it on all day. In my former life, I used Laura Mercier which is fabulous and I loved it until I could no longer justify it, which brings me to the point I’m at now. Anyway, I found the $15 eyeliner and splurged … I picked a very dark brown called “Mexico City” and I literally hugged her skinny little body when I realized she had magical powers. 

Please forgive what you are about to see. It’s been a very long day. I applied the eyeliner at 8:00 this morning. These pictures were taken at 6:45 p.m., in my child’s bathroom during bath time. I am nothing if not a multi-tasker.

It’s still on.

It’s still there.

I am so happy.

I am not very good at taking pictures to prove a point, so you’re just going to need to accept this as truth and go get you some.