Against my better judgment, I bought ONE a pair of kiddie scissors. Because there aren’t enough hazards in my house. And because I wanted to have yet another reason to worry about leaving him in a room by himself.

While I wrote this, he tried to sneak them upstairs to his room not just once … but twice.

I’ll let you know how this turns out.

My name is TWO. I can’t stop smiling.

I shat on my mommy this morning. It was epic.

Remember when I said TWO’s smiles come and go so fast I can’t catch them?

This week, Husband and I had a series of arguments. Of course, I felt like he was wrong and I was right … until he told me he felt like I had been acting like a “Negative Nancy.” Burn.

Apparently, instead of telling him all of the cute and fun things I experienced in a day, I ranted about how effing hard it was. This made me pause. I don’t consider myself to be a negative person at all. In fact, I pride myself on my inner strength and ability to handle difficulty. The problem is, Husband is one of the people who gets to hear me whine about it in person … daily. The rest of you get to read about it.

If I were Husband, out working hard all day, I wouldn’t want to come home to THAT. What he said made me mad at first, and then it got me in check. I spent all of yesterday getting my shit together.

I read (in a book written by Dr. Laura — she may be crazy, but I like her work, and I find her encouraging) that as women, it is our responsibility to “shield our families” from our issues. They don’t need to know about our every insecurity, pain, struggle, and problem. That is why we have been blessed with mothers and girlfriends who will listen to us vent and offer advice. 

This struck a chord with me. I realized I can’t vent to Husband without him feeling like he needs to fix it. Unfortunately, he can’t fix the stresses I am under at the moment. He can offer encouragement and that’s about it. Luckily for me, I have a network of girlfriends who are in similar places in life and they have been an invaluable source of advice and support.

Today, I am thankful for those women. I am also thankful for my Husband, who finally decided to tell me what he felt about something instead of just staring blankly at me.

Here is a quote sent to me from one of my friends. I just might post it in every room of my house. It’s so easy to lose sight of what really matters when I haven’t been allowed to poop in peace for several days in a row.

 

I am in the midst of one of those days weeks months where I feel certain that every member of my family is purposefully trying to piss me off. Or at the very least, drive me insane.

I thought about taking this opportunity to vent about Husband and ONE and yes, even TWO (he has colic, you recall). They are all being difficult in their own special way. I was gearing up to pound out a post about my problems.

But before I could get to that, TWO started to cry. I was sitting in his room, rocking him in the quiet and begging him to sleep, when he suddenly stopped screaming and smiled at me. He has a big, dimpled grin that just melts my heart. I’d post a picture, but it’s so fleeting when it happens that I never have time to get the camera.

It was in that moment, when his big eyes were looking at me and his face dimpled, I realized that all of my problems can be dealt with. This is the part of motherhood that makes me a better person. 

Every day, I think to myself, I can’t possibly go through another day like this. But then I do. I have no choice. You can’t throw in the towel on motherhood. You press on, minute by painful minute, until it gets better.  Sometimes, an infuriating moment is immediately followed by a beautiful moment. I am here 24/7 to soak all of them up, and hopefully, by some miracle, I will survive it and I will be better because of the lessons I have learned.

Now, if you’ll excuse me … both of my children are crying. Simultaneously.