Last night my mother’s helper said to me, “I’m beginning to understand why you need them all to be in bed by 7:00.” Her eyes were wide with … disbelief? Horror? I’m still unsure. I think it’s probably shocking to her how much energy my kids have, and she probably wonders how I keep up with them. Well … I don’t. Which is why I needed to find some help, and that is where she comes in.

Sometimes I have bad days and I just don’t want to be bothered with them. I don’t feel like being a mom. I don’t feel like feeding anyone. I just want to be left ALONE to do what I want to do, because I am human and selfish and easily annoyed when I don’t get enough time and space to myself.

It’s so easy to fall into a mindset where you start to view your family as a burden, like your children are just another thing you have to deal with. Asher is 2.5 and going through that difficult stage where everything is a struggle. It hasn’t been that long since Maverick was that age, but I seem to have totally blocked out how terrible it was. I’ve already forgotten.

Asher and I have been struggling. Two-year-olds aren’t my favorite, honestly, and I don’t feel guilty for saying that because IT’S ASS HARD TO DEAL WITH A TODDLER. Potty training is hell, and if it were up to me he would stay in diapers for another year until he can totally dress and undress himself and understand that we don’t put a whole roll of toilet paper in the toilet. We just don’t. But he is insistent on using the potty because he sees his big brother doing it, and I feel like if I ban him from it or discourage him in some way, it will just create more problems. And so, I have surrendered.

It takes a lot of prayer and a lot of deep breaths for me to keep it together during this phase that we’re in. But we’ll make it, he and I. We’ll make it to the fall when he is three and hopefully potty trained and I can send him off to preschool with a tiny backpack.

Yesterday, I was sitting on the floor of the laundry room with him trying to take off his muddy shoes. He wouldn’t let me — he was intent on throwing Maverick’s dirty socks into the dryer with the clean laundry. He kicked and wiggled and stood up over and over until finally I popped him on the leg. As he cried, I said, “Asher, I’m sorry I had to pop you, but you have to learn to obey.” 

And then before I knew what was happening, he was wrapping his skinny arms around my neck and hugging me tight. “I sowwy too, Mommy. I sowwy too.“

There it is. The magic. That’s why I love this gig even when it sucks, and man, can it suck. I press on because I know those moments are coming … I just never know when. 

So, I’ve decided that it’s us and not them.

Meaning, the things that happen here. The ridiculous, ridiculous goings-on of the Hobbs household. It’s mine and Husband’s fault, not the kid’s. Many times we have looked at each other in amazement and said aloud, “Why do these things keep happening?!” Or, “Man … that kid … “ 

Well, the plain truth is, Robbie and Harmony Hobbs are the kind of people who do stupid, weird, and irresponsible things and then, strangely enough, stupid and weird things happen.

I came to grips with this fact through a series of events that took place within the past three days:

1. The Stroller.

What, your beverages don’t wear capes? Freak.

Side view.

We’re moving. In three weeks.

Remember this?

I swear … it feels like we just did this.

We had made the decision to stay where we are for another year, wait and see what our finances looked like before transplanting our family of 5 to another location, yada yada yada. I admit that I was kind of dreading another summer in our current rental, mostly because the windows and doors aren’t sealed well and living here is a lot like camping. But this house has been just what we needed; the perfect segway house to get us from Birmingham to where we will be soon.

So where will we be? In a larger place, where we will have room to breathe. The neighborhood is only a few minutes from where we are now, and it offers a “Blue Ribbon” elementary school, an amazing preschool, a park, and a tennis club. 

All of this has happened so fast and was so unexpected that we are still kind of in shock. I have no idea when I will start packing. I just want to hide in the very tiny closet that I share with my husband and wait for everything to pack itself. But knowing that soon I’ll have my OWN closet gives me the strength to rally.

So … how bad is it, really, to move to another house on very short notice, with three children, one of whom is potty training, and another one of whom is creeping around the house eating wads of belly button lint?   

Don’t tell me. This is one of the rare situations where I’d just rather not know what I’m getting myself into.

On the plus side, I found all those dirty shoes that disappeared yesterday while Husband was home with the boys.

Thanks, Asher!

Even though we’ve been back “home” in Baton Rouge for two years, we still haven’t completely adjusted back to the Louisiana way of life that we missed so much. Mardi Gras snuck up on me again this year, and I am still not used to how big of a deal it is. Schools and business literally shut down so that people can galavant. It’s pretty awesome.

We didn’t make it to any parades and likely won’t for several more years, but we did get invited to a Mardi Gras party. It was spectacular for several reasons:

1. The kids ran free while I spaced out

2. There was wine

3. It wore Asher out such that he went to bed at 6 p.m. last night and slept until …. wait for it … 7:00 THIS MORNING.

It has literally been months since that has happened. If I could bring that kid to a Mardi Gras party every single afternoon from 12-3 I totally would, if it meant I would get eight hours of sleep that night.

I could leave you with this, but then it would just be another mommy-type post with cute kids and an everything is awesome! vibe. But that’s not real. Here’s what’s real: last night after the kids were in bed, Husband and I sat exhausted on the couch and stared into space. It was 8:30 p.m. and the idea of washing my face seemed an insurmountable task.

I admitted out loud that I really miss the days when we could socialize together at parties as a team. We’re great in social settings. Well, we used to be, anyway. These days, we spend our time split up watching the kids when we go places as a family, and we’re boring because we’re too tired to think of witty things to say. THE HOBBS ARE NOW A TOTAL SNOOZE FEST. 

It’s hard, the adjustment. Even this far into parenthood, I still miss things about our old life. I know that it will eventually be that way again. Maybe. We just have to get to the other side, and make the most of where we are right now, otherwise known as Boringville. But like my OB used to say … boring is good — at least as far as reproductive systems go.

 

Having three kids is absolutely way out of control, more than I have any business handling, and YES, Husband and I are in way deep over our heads.

Way deep.

But do we think we shouldn’t have done it? Jumped into parenthood with both feet, hoping we wouldn’t turn it to shambles?

Hell no.

We are the two most blessed and most exhausted people I know. I still love him even though hardships have rained down on us like crazy and his snoring has gotten worse and there is never, ever enough time for anything. We have so little, we have so much, and we are so, so tired.

All it takes is this to remind us why we don’t mind any of the hard stuff.

 

It’s so nice to have another girl in the house to gossip with.

I just had an OH SHIT moment where I realized that by the time summer gets here Pepper will be toddling around. On her feet. 

Like obviously I went into this knowing that children do eventually learn to walk, but part of me was kind of hoping she wouldn’t? Mostly because I don’t know how I’m going to deal with it. 

I kind of just had a panic attack in the shower, but it passed and now I’m fine. Husband has witnessed my gradual unraveling over the past few months and suggested we hire a cleaning lady. That is a lot of money to spend on help, and I’m starting to think I would prefer to put that money towards hiring another capable person to be in this house with me while the children are awake and running in three different directions on their feet.

Having three kids is one of those things I would not have done had I known how hard it would actually be, because I am too chicken. But hi, now we’re in it! Too late to change our minds now. I’m not going to lie, it’s a weird feeling to burst into tears (of terror, NOT the sweet kind of tears) thinking about what will happen when your youngest learns to walk.

I’m sure it’s a passing feeling — I’m just telling you about it because I know that there is someone else out there who is drowning in children knowing that it’s going to get a lot harder before it gets a lot easier. 

Let’s not Pollyanna this.

All together now … YIKES.

I hope my quirky kids continue to be quirky and grow into interesting, quirky adults. One of my biggest fears is that at some point, like in middle school which is seriously the worst, peer pressure will cause them to become ashamed of the things that make them special. I am terrified of the day that something or someone ruins their magic.  

I love their untarnished personalities. That is why I try not to shush Maverick when he randomly and loudly breaks into song, and why I let Asher hoard things in his bed. Everyone who spends a decent amount of time with us just kind of ignores it now, like why shouldn’t we be singing Rhianna’s“Shine Bright Like A Diamond” for no good reason?!

Maverick will be doing a stand up comic routine at the school talent show next month. A stand up routine. It was all his idea. 

He’s 5. 

We made a few suggestions — like, “Why don’t you SING? We can find you a fun song!” But none of our conventional ideas excited him. He said, “I just really want to make people laugh.” So we said, “We’ll help you.” 

I hope I can remember this when one of them does something too weird and radical one day when they are figuring out who they are. I guess that is probably when I will start saying how much I miss the days when they were little and Asher was obsessed with pirates and kitty cats.  

Today I took my kids to a park.

I was the only one there who was outnumbered 3:1. Most of the other people were there with friends or spouses except for one poor lady who was by herself with twins. But even then, she was only outnumbered 2:1 and neither of them were walking yet, so I couldn’t feel too bad for her.

 I drew arrows on this picture to point out my children, just in case you needed a visual.

There we are. 

You’d think I’d just stay home, but we have a mudhole that the boys dug that will just not dry up, and two other mudholes caused by me because I continue to do a terrible job of backing out of my driveway. I am just TIRED of mud, so we left.

I also like to tell myself that all the trips I take on a regular basis to random locations with all of my children in tow is character-building for everyone. For me, for them, for the people behind us in line and the man who keeps having to stop and wait for my kid to get out of his way. So, you’re welcome, everyone. 

Now mommy needs to drink her special juice.

After 4 years of blogging, I am finally getting my act together (ok, not really) and created an official Facebook page for this blog. If you are a frequent reader, definitely visit www.facebook.com/modernmommymadness and “like” it.

Then you can kick back and let the waves of craziness wash over you. Happy Thursday!

Totally unrelated.